Playing with fire
by HistoryGeek1399
Summary: Alexandra Cabot is happily married to a doctor she met working in Africa. She loves her wife, her job and with a baby on the way it all seems perfect. Until she is introduced to her new second chair Casey Novak. When instant attraction strikes, Alex is forced to question if it was really possible to love two people at once?
1. Chapter 1

A/N. This is something different, an idea that came to me whilst up a tree. Not sure if it's worth continuing? Reviews welcomed and appreciated. I own none of the unoriginal characters.

Waking up Alexandra Cabot took the few minutes before the alarm was due to go off to study her wife. Marvelling at the way their bodies had become intwined in the night, she reached out and ran her hand over her wife's silky skin, caressing the bump that was starting to show, "You know if you keep that up, we're going to be late for work." Came the sleepy voice of Dr Poppy Kane.

Leaning over and kissing her wife Alex purred "Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all, but you have to meet your new second chair and I have three surgeries, before we get to see bump." She said referring to their scan later that afternoon.

"Fine, but tonight you are all mine." pouted the blonde.

Getting out of bed and heading for the shower, Poppy smiled at her pouting wife, "We could save time and shower together?"

Forty minutes later they were ready to leave, sharing one last kiss Alex headed to the office, excited about their scan later and an evening at home with her beautiful wife.

She had just reached the office when her phone chimed indicating she had a text opening it she smiled when she saw it was from her wife. 'Your child hates me! The smell of tea is making me nauseous. Xx'

Laughing she could imagine the look in her wife's face at the latest development in her pregnancy 'How comes it's my child? Xx' putting her phone down she knew she wouldn't get a reply because her wife was in surgery she let her mind wonder back over the last three years.

Just over three years ago she had taken a leave of absence and had joined a task force prosecuting sex crimes in Africa. It was her first week when a suspects friends began shooting at the police and she was caught in the face by some broken glass. She was in the hospital worrying that even though she worked sex crimes in New York she wouldn't be able to cope with the horrors she had already witnessed.

When in walked the most beautiful woman she had ever seen tall and toned with an olive complexion it took just weeks until they had become friends and Alex soon found herself falling for her friend who was smart, funny and loyal. Poppy was unimpressed by Alex's family wealth which was refreshing. Alex was used to being pursued by those hoping to use her name to further their own goals. Poppy was the complete opposite her family had very little in the way of wealth in fact she was the first to go to college before joining the army to pay for medical school.

After being invalided out of the army she was working for Doctors without Boarders, intent on helping those who couldn't help themselves. After being friends for around six weeks Alex plucked up her courage and asked Poppy out for dinner. By the time Alex's task force had ended a year later they were engaged and Poppy moved back to New York with Alex taking a job at Memorial as head of paediatric surgery.

Once they were settled back in New York, they got married and six months ago they had decided to start a family, Alex couldn't believe how lucky she was, she had a wife who adored her and a job she loved. All in all life was good, hearing knock on the door she jumped realising she had spent the better part of the morning wrapped up in her memories. Calling out a 'come in' Alex attempted to make it look like she had done more than just day dream.

Seeing her boss Liz Donnelly accompanied by a nervous looking red head she rose from her seat. "Alexandra this is Casey Novak your new second chair. Casey this is Alexandra Cabot." Introduced Liz.

Reaching out for the redheads hand Alex was startled by the jolt of electricity she felt from the brief contact. "Hello, Miss Novak, I've heard a lot about you."

"Please call me Casey, I've heard nothing but good things about you, I'm really looking forward to working along side you."

"I'll leave you two, to get aquatinted. Alex play nice, and remember I want to see the pictures when you get back this afternoon, no excuses!"

Looking at the door Liz had just left through Casey frowned,"Um pictures? Should I be worried?"

Laughing Alex shook her head, "Come on let me get you up to date on our open cases and then if we have time I'll take you to meet our detectives before my appointment. If not we can go when I get back."

"Sounds good. I'm all yours do with me as you will."

Shivering a little at the tone of the redheads voice Alex cleared her throat before opening the first case file. After spending fifteen minutes walking Casey through the open cases, Alex was impressed with her quick mind and the drive she had to gain justice for the victims. Something that had been missing from her last second chair.

Sitting across from her Alex took the time to study the woman opposite her, she cut a striking figure with her red hair and green eyes, eyes that seemed to display her emotions. Alex was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of her mobile ringing recognising her wife's ringtone she excused herself to answer it, sharing a brief conversation with her wife in which she promised to pick up some sugar covered sweets her wife was craving before meeting at the doctors office. Hanging up she turned to see Casey studying her.

"I didn't have you down as a country fan." Laughed the younger woman referring to her wife's ringtone.

"I'm not, my friend set it up." Looking down at the file in her lap Alex couldn't work out why she said friend and not wife. Chalking it up to not wanting any awkwardness with the redhead she continued showing her the case for tomorrow and gave her a list of jobs to get done whilst Alex was out of the office.

Walking to her car Alex received a text from the woman occupying her thoughts, 'You have the worst writing I have ever seen! It's giving me a headache already! Casey.'

Smiling she replied, 'Poor thing! I promise to write in block capitals in the future. Alex.'

'I will hold you to that! As long as you don't spank me if I get it wrong.;-)'

'I might consider a motion for leniency.'

Rereading the messages Alex was shocked she was blatantly flirting with this woman, what was she doing she had a wife. Seeing the new message icon pop up Alex stomach dipped at the thought of it being another flirty message from Casey. Seeing it was from her wife she couldn't help but feel confused at the disappointment she felt.

Heading inside she saw her wife pacing the waiting room, "What's wrong?"

Kissing her wife the doctor shook her head "Nothing, at least I hope nothing I'm just nervous, my head is full of all the things that could be wrong."

"Everything will be fine honey. Stop worrying." Hearing their names called they made their way into the office.

"Ladies, how are we?" Asked Doctor Mills.

"I'm fine," replied Alex before tilting her head at her wife "my wife on the other hand is worrying enough, I'm worried the baby will come out with grey hair."

Laughing at the look on her patients face the doctor placed her hand on her arm, "I was the same, it's a doctor thing, but you are young and healthy. I'm sure everything will be fine, shall we take a look?"

"Please."

It took a few minutes before the room was filled with the sound of a strong heartbeat. Looking at her wife in wonder Alex gushed "My beautiful, clever wonderful girl."

"I'll get you some pictures and then we can take some blood and book your next appointment."

Half an hour later Alex was standing next to her wife leaning against her car, "So what's your second chair like?"

"She seems nice and keen to get started. I think we're going to get along."

"Good, I'm glad I know you hate it when your second chairs skate by." Looking at her watch she groaned "Uhhh I have to get back. Are we still on for tonight?"

"I'm not sure, I might have to stay a little late get Casey up to speed before court tomorrow. I'll call you when I'm on my way home."

"Okay, I love you Mrs Cabot-Kane."

"Love you too."

Heading back to her office Alex was excited about seeing the redhead again, she tried to convince herself it was because she was looking forward to working with some one as dedicated as she was to their cases, but she couldn't shake the nagging voice in the back of her head warning her to be careful and not play with fire.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N this will be a Casey and Alex end game, but the path to true love is never easy. it will be mostly told from the view point of Alex as she struggles with her feelings for her wife and Casey.

Arriving back at the office, Alex headed for Liz's office knocking in the door Alex looked down at the picture in her hand and couldn't help the smile that spread across her face, hearing Liz invite her to enter Alex opened the door walking in.

"Alexandra, how did it go?" Asked Liz excited her god daughter had finally settled down and found happiness.

"It was amazing, although poor Poppy has all these worst case scenarios running through her head." she said handing the scan picture to Liz.

"I guess that comes from being a doctor. Are you getting excited yet Alex?"

"Very excited, I can't wait to meet my child, Poppy has been amazing. I'm not sure I would have been as relaxed about giving up coffee or weeks of morning sickness."

Spending another half an hour with Liz discussing potential names and a baby shower. Alex headed back to her office, seeing Casey sitting at her desk reading over a case file Alex was struck by the beauty of the redhead. Shaking her head to clear her mind she entered her office, making a deliberate noise to let Casey know she was there.

"Hi, how was your appointment?" Asked younger woman.

"It was fine, thank you. How are you getting on?"

"Now I have worked out your hand writing I'm getting there. I have just finished this file if you want to go visit the detectives before starting another?"

Picking up her briefcase Alex headed for the door, Casey at her heels. "We can take my car." Offered Alex.

Walking to Alex's Aston Martin, Casey gave a low whistle "Nice wheels, I'm going to enjoy being driven in style."

Laughing Alex got behind the wheel, pulling into traffic she saw Casey studying her, "Would you like a picture? It will last longer."

"That's not a bad idea." Pulling out her phone she snapped a picture adding it to Alex's contact information. "So these detectives anything I should know?"

"Their fond of bending the rules but given the cases they work it's not surprising that they will go to any length to get the perp off the streets, that aside they are the best at what they do and I consider them my friends."

"Okay, I'm looking forward to meeting them. I'm sure you have them well trained."

Arriving at the police station Alex and Casey entered the bull pen and Alex was glad to see all the detectives were there. Olivia was the first to notice the two lawyers calling out a greeting to Alex who headed for her desk, taking her customary position leaning against it.

"Hello Olivia, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks, what did we do to deem a visit?"

"Is Don in?" She asked looking towards the captains office, seeing the door was shut and the office dark she added "Don't tell me they suspended him again?"

"Nope, he has the afternoon off. So we are all hard at work."

"Oh well I'll catch him tomorrow, I wanted to introduce you to my new second chair, Casey Novak this is, Detective Olivia Benson and her partner Elliot Stabler, over there is Detective Amanda Rollins and her partner Fin Tutuola, then we have Sargent John Munch SVU's lady killer and resident conspiracy buff."

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Asked Elliot

"I played softball for White Collar, so you probably saw me through your tears when we beat you!" Laughed Casey. "Although on the plus side I guess I'm on your team now if you want me."

Laughing Elliot agreed and the two were soon in conversation about the Mets. Watching Casey laugh Alex couldn't help but smile at the contagious sound, a sound alien in the bull pen normally bathed in the sounds of frustration and despair at the acts human being perpetrated upon each other.

Walking over Amanda leaned against Liv's desk next to Alex before asking, "How did the scan go? I know Poppy was really nervous this morning when I saw her."

Smiling at the younger blonde Alex checked Casey was still in discussion with Elliot before answering, "It was amazing. What about you two any plans to make an honest woman out of Liv?"

Laughing Amanda replied "Just taking the time to consider my options." Winking at her lover before heading back to her desk. Spending an hour with the detectives Alex and Casey headed back to the office.

It was just after four when they got back to the office having just sat down and got started on the last file, both woman jumped when the office door was flung open and an excited Serena Southerlyn came rushing in, "Well, how is my god child? I bet it's cute, what am I saying your gorgeous your wife is gorgeous so baby is going to be a stunner." Noticing that Alex wasn't alone Serena blushed before turning to introduce herself, before demanding an answer from Alex.

Handing the excited blonde the scan picture, "Everything looks fine, right size and strong heartbeat."

After promising Serena she would call her later, there was silence in the office and for the first time that day it was a tense silence.

"Your married?" Asked the redhead in a flat voice.

Nodding her head Alex couldn't work out if the tone in Casey's voice was anger or disappointment, "Yes, her name is Poppy she's a paediatric surgeon." Giving a small smile she added "As you heard she is pregnant. I hope my being gay isn't going to be an issue."

"Congratulations!" There it was again that strange tone of voice, before Alex could call her on it Casey continued "You being gay isn't an issue for me and long as my being gay isn't an issue for you."

Shaking her head Alex smiled looking at the clock on her desk, "I think I'm going to head home, why don't you call it quits for tonight and I'll see you here at eight tomorrow morning and we can head to court together?"

"Sure. Night." Standing up Casey headed to her own office to collect her stuff.  
Sighing Alex packed up her stuff and sent a text to her wife telling her she was leaving the office. Pulling out of the parking garage, she noticed Casey waiting at the taxi rank, pulling in she wound down the window, "Hop in let me give you a ride."

"I'm fine, it's probably out of your way."

"It's no trouble, come on get in. It's freezing out there." Smiling as Casey relented and climbed in giving Alex her address, there was silence as they drove. Pulling up at a red light Alex turned to study Casey. "Are you okay?"

"I'm embarrassed. I flirted with you only to find out your happily married. I'm sorry. Actually you know what I'm also pissed you flirted back."

Saying nothing Alex stared a at the road, pulling up outside Casey's building, Alex mumbled a goodbye, before turning and heading for home.

Pulling up Alex was relieved not to see her wife's car on the drive, heading inside Alex headed for the kitchen pouring a large glass of wine, she listened to the messages on the machine. One from her mother asking about the scan and another from a the opticians reminding her to make an appointment. Hearing her wife's keys in the door Alex took a deep breath, walking to greet her at the door.

"Hi you. I missed you." Looking at the smile on her wife's face Alex felt a ball of guilt settle in the pit of her stomach.

"You saw me a few hours ago." It came out harsher than she intended seeing her wife raise an eyebrow at the comment she added, "Sorry, I have a headache. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Feeling Poppy wrap her arms around her Alex breathed in the smell of her wife drawing comfort form it, "It's okay darling. How about I run you a bath and then we can order some dinner and snuggle up with a film?"

Nodding Alex watched her wife walk away towards the bathroom, swallowing the tears she felt she headed up the stairs. Walking into the bathroom she saw the candles that surrounded their sunken bath had all been lit and the bath was filled with her favourite bubble bath. Kissing her wife Alex undressed and slid into the water, moaning when she felt the hot water sooth her aching muscles.

Her mind wondered to the situation with Casey, deciding it was just a passing crush and that she was more than happy in her life, Alex found herself relaxing as she formed a plan to show her wife just how much she loved her. Finishing her wine she got out of the bath and pulled on the silk robe Poppy had brought her for their anniversary and laid out their favourite toy. Heading downstairs she saw Poppy had laid the table and was dishing up the Chinese she had ordered.

Placing a kiss on the back of wife's neck Alex whispered "Thank you. I feel much better now."

"Anything for you my queen. Now let's eat."

Sharing a dinner filled with laughter and kisses Alex cleaned up whilst Poppy showered, Alex hoped her wife took the hint and was waiting in bed for her. Making sure the doors were locked and the alarm was on Alex headed up to the their bedroom.

Laying next to her wife sated from their love making Alex couldn't get Casey out of her mind. The look of hurt on her face or the anger in her voice. Hoping she could fix things before they got out of hand, it took Alex a long time to fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N thank you for all the reviews and favourites.

Waking up that morning Alex found she was alone, it wasn't unusual for her wife to be called into the hospital in the middle of the night any more than it was unusual for her to get called in for warrants or to okay a deal. Disappointed she wouldn't get to see her wife before work she pulled on her robe and headed downstairs to make a cup of coffee, she found a note leaning against her favourite mug.

Alex,  
I got paged and I didn't want to wake you after it took you so long to fall asleep last night.  
I hope you feel better today. Good luck in court rockstar.  
Love,  
Poppy. Xx

Arriving at the office just before eight Alex had brought coffee for her and Casey and some Danish pastries the redhead had mentioned the day before, hoping Casey would except her apology and the tension that had descended after Serena's visit would lessen.

Hearing the redhead moving around in her office, Alex knocked on the door and entered coming to a halt when she saw Casey was in just a set of lady blue underwear. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry." Blushed Alex turning so her back was to her semi naked second chair.

Laughing at the blush covering the blondes face "It's fine Alex, I'm sure you have seen plenty of woman in their underwear. There I'm all covered now."

Turning around Alex took in the sight of Casey in tight black trousers and light green button down shirt. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to be in your underwear. I brought coffee and Danishes. I was hoping we could draw a line under yesterday?"

"It's fine, what did you think it's a new set? Thank you for the coffee."

"It's nice, it suits your skin tone. Not that I saw much because I turned around." Taking a deep breath "I'm sorry I'm rambling aren't I?"

Taking a sip of her coffee Casey gave a moan at the taste, laughing when she saw Alex blush again. "I'm glad you liked it I was thinking of you when I picked it out." Winking she continued "So what's the plan for court today?"

Alex felt a tingle make its way down her spine at the idea Casey had picked her underwear with her In mind. It was so different from the style her wife wore, Poppy's were more practical suited to being under scrubs designed for comfort not sex appeal. Shaking her head Alex felt guilty comparing the two woman, her wife was a wonderful woman who saved lives and loved her.

What was wrong with her? Ever since she had met Casey, she felt off balance as if she was two people. One who would never flirt with a woman who wasn't her wife and then when she was around Casey she was a different person and all thoughts of being married fled her mind, leaving it filled with only thoughts of Casey.

Swallowing the guilty feeling they spent half an hour discussing their strategy before heading off to court. Watching Casey pace the courtroom as she cross examined a witness Alex was once again struck by the redheads drive and beauty. Shaking her head and forcing herself to focus on the case at hand.

After the judge had called a recess for the rest of the day Alex and Casey decided to get lunch in a deli Casey recommended, before returning to the office. After ordering they found a table and began discussing books, movies and music Alex found she really enjoyed being in Casey's company she was funny and had a sarcastic sense of humour. Seeing a shadow fall across the table Alex looked up and for the first time Alex could recall she was disappointed to see her wife.

"Hi Rockstar. What are you doing here?" Asked Poppy looking delighted to see her wife, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Choosing to ignore both the question and the kiss Alex pointed to Casey, "Poppy this is Casey Novak my new second chair. Casey this is Dr Poppy Kane."

Shaking hands Poppy addressed the red headed woman opposite her, "Is she being nice?" Indicating her wife with a tilt of her head.

Laughing Casey pretended to consider her answer before winking at Alex "She has been great. Congratulations by the way."

Placing a hand on her bump Poppy gave a beaming grin "Thank you." Taking Alex's hand she continued "We're thrilled." Looking at her wife she frowned when saw how tense Alex looked. "How's the case going?"

"Fine, we should get back. I'll see you tonight." Looking everywhere but at her wife Alex collected her stuff pausing she added "I might be late, don't wait up.". Feeling guiltier than ever at having snapped at her all because she was disappointed her lunch with another woman was cut short Alex headed back towards the court.

Looking between the two women Casey cleared her throat before collecting her stuff. "It's been a frustrating day. It was nice to meet you."

"You too. Have a good day." Staring at the door her wife had just left through Poppy couldn't help but wonder just what was going on with her wife.

By the time Casey had left the deli Alex was nowhere to be seen, catching a cab back to the office, she found Alex pacing in her office, knocking she poked her head around the door. "You okay?"

Looking up Alex nodded before slumping on the couch, "Sorry about leaving like that."

"It's okay, your wife looked pretty pissed though. You might want to buy flowers on your way home." Laughed the redhead.

"Thanks for the advice. Can you handle the Smudges case witness prep? I think I'm going to head home, my head is pounding."

"Sure, it's straightforward if I get stuck I'll give you a call. I hope you feel better." Placing her hand on the blondes arm she smiled "Call me if you need anything."

Getting home, Alex saw her wife's car wasn't on the drive sighing she headed inside, finding a note on the counter in the kitchen,

Alex,  
Got called away for a consult. Will be back late tomorrow. I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, I was just excited at seeing you. Casey seems nice.  
Love,  
Poppy. Xx

Feeling guilty once again that her wife was blaming herself, Alex sent her a text telling her she loved her and would make it up to her at the weekend. Deciding to take a shower, the image of Casey in her underwear kept replaying in her head, she felt her nipples start to harden. Pinching them between her fingers she whimpered as the sting of pain sent a shiver of pleasure to her core.

It wasn't the gentle way Alex normally touched herself it was rough and explosive, it took just minutes for her come cum calling Casey's name.

Stepping out of the shower Alex looked at herself in the mirror, feeling bile rise in her throat she dashed for the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach she began to cry confused by the things she felt for Casey. Calming down Alex decided she needed someone to talk to reaching for her phone she dialled the one person she knew wouldn't judge her.

"Carmichael"

"Abbie, it's Alex."

"Teflon! What's up? Are you calling to brag about your sexy wife?"

"No, I need someone to talk to, can you come over?"

"Why me? Not that I'm not flattered but I thought Liv and Serena were your goto guys?"

"Please Abbie, I can't face Serena's romanticised version of life or Liv's black and white view of right and wrong."

"I'll be there in forty minutes." Came the gentle reply.

Getting dressed Alex opened a bottle of wine, waiting for Abbie to arrive hoping a good talk would help her make sense of how she was feeling. Hearing her phone chirp indicating a message seeing it was from Casey she opened it and smiled 'I hope your feeling better. I have a nurses outfit if you need a sponge bath. ;-) xx'

Throwing down her phone Alex took a gulp of wine hoping it would erase the images in her mind, oh God what was she going to do.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I know there is a lot of hate for Casey and Alex but give it another chapter to explain their behaviour before you give up. It is very out of character for both but it will make sense and come good I promise. There is no connection with the timeline on the show as I can never remember the order of the episodes, but I might use some components. Hope this makes some sense even if it's nonsense.

Hearing a knock at the door Alex placed her glass on the table, checking the peep hole she found herself relaxing at the sight of her friend. She knew Abbie would listen without thinking her a bitch and would always be honest with her, telling her the truth even if she knew it would make Alex angry. That was the good thing about the Texan she was always upfront and honest no bull just the bare facts given to you in a no nonsense way.

Opening the door Alex gave a tight smile. "Hi, thank you for coming."

Holding out a bottle of whiskey "Any time, you look like you could use this. So you going to invite me in?"

Stepping aside to let the brunette in Alex accepted the bottle of whiskey. Heading to the kitchen she grabbed two glasses. "I take it your sharing?"

"Hell yeah if I ever turn down whiskey you know I'm dead. I figured I would crash here if I have too much, providing that's okay with you of course?"

Handing the Texan a glass, Alex nodded before sitting down on the couch opposite Abbie "How are you?"

"Alex we had lunch on Sunday it's now Friday, not much has changed for me. Now stop wasting time and tell me what's going on with you. Where's doctor hottie?"

"She is away on a consult. It's stupid I'm sorry for calling you. Let's forget it and have a relaxing evening instead."

Studying the blonde Abbie knew something was wrong but knew not to push to hard or she would clam up completely. "Alex, you called me for a reason, if you wanted girls night you would have called Serena. Talk to me whatever it is it won't go any further." Said the Texan in a gentle voice.

Sighing Alex refilled their glasses draining hers in one gulp before topping it up again. "Have you heard of Casey Novak?"

"Your new second chair? Yeah I know of her she is a bit of a player by all accounts. Why you two not getting along?"

"More the opposite." Launching into an explanation of the flirting that had carried on even after Casey knew she was married and the disappointment she saw on the redheads face when she found out she was married. The way she felt around the redhead and even her escapades in the shower. "It's all fucked up Abbie. Please tell me I'm being an over dramatic idiot, who had a school girl crush."

"Alex, slow down. Firstly you need to calm down." Waiting until Alex had sat down Abbie could see the confusion in her friends eyes. "Alex are you sure your not just freaking out about becoming a mother?"

Giving her friend what can only be described as an icy look Alex replied "I can't wait to be a mother. It's not like she is the first person to flirt with me since I got married. It's like when she looks at me the air becomes electric and she is the only person in the room."

"So you want to sleep with her? Or is there more to it?" Refilling there glasses Abbie hoped the alcohol would help Alex loosen up.

"Both, neither I don't know. What the hell is wrong with me. I have a loving wife and a baby on the way and yet all I can think about is Casey even when I'm with Poppy. I was actually relieved she was away tonight what sort of person does that make me?"

"Alex, don't bite my head off for this but I have to ask, you keep saying you have a loving wife, do you love Poppy?"

"Of course I love my wife! What sort of a question is that?" Snapped the blonde.

Holding her hands up as if in surrender Abbie replied "Alex think about it for a minute, without the complication of a baby on the way, would you be as confused? Maybe your freaking out about being a mother and Casey's flirtatious behaviour is stroking your ego. Or maybe it was love at first sight and you and Casey will live happily ever after. Either way you need to get your head on straight and you need to do it quickly before you lose your wife and possibly your baby."

Looking at her friend Abbie realised she was being harsh softening her voice she continued "Alex, I love you and Poppy, but if you seriously think you have strong feelings for Novak you need to figure it out quickly because in just over six months it's going to be even more complicated."

"I don't believe in love at first sight, lust yes and that can grow into more. Abbie, what do I do?"

"You can start by answering my question, do you love Poppy?"

Downing the whiskey in her glass Alex reached for the bottle only for Abbie to move it away. Glaring at her friend Alex stood and began to pace. "I love her, she is having our baby."

"But?"

"No buts, I have a baby on the way. Your right I'm just freaking out. Thank you Abb's."

Looking at her friend Abbie knew the conversation was over for tonight, but it didn't escape her notice that Alex seemed to be trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Abbie that it was just a phase.

"Anytime Alex you know that, just promise me if you get tempted to sleep with Novak you will talk to me. Don't throw your life away for a quickie over your desk. You and Poppy deserve better than that."

They spent another hour gossiping about people in the office before calling it a night. Abbie woke up just after six and decided she would have a little chat with Casey to make sure she behaved. Leaving a note she let herself out and headed to the redheads apartment.

Apartment of Casey Novak,  
Hearing someone bang on her door Casey groaned and looked at the clock seeing it wasn't even seven in the morning she was considering murdering whoever was at the door. Looking through the spy hole she recognised Abbie Carmichael confused as to why the brunette lawyer would be calling by her apartment early on a Saturday morning she opened the door.

"Carmichael, what can I do for you?" Asked the puzzled redhead.

Wasting no time on the pleasantries Abbie got right to the point "I'll come straight to the point, stop flirting with Alex, she is a married woman and I won't have some little tramp like you destroy my friends marriage just for sport."

Shocked at the anger radiating off of the brunette Casey went on the defensive "Hold on a minute she flirted back and attempted to hide the fact she was married. Had Southerlyn not outed her I doubt Alex would have mentioned it."

"I mean it Novak, lay off or I will have you transferred to the arse end of nowhere prosecuting jaywalking cases until you retire." Turning to walk away Abbie stopped when she heard the redhead speak.

"It's not just for sport. I have admired Alex from a distance ever since I started at the DA's office, I didn't mean to upset her. I'll apologise and behave from now on."

"Good, see you do or there will be trouble, you don't want me as an enemy Novak."

Closing the door Casey slummed against it she had been attempting to pluck up the courage to ask Alex out before she went to Africa. By the time she came back Casey was in a relationship and had pushed Alex out of her mind. Finding out she would be working along side her Casey was excited but she had never meant to upset the blonde or cause any trouble. She couldn't help herself Alex was smart and sexy as hell but Abbie was right and Casey would reign it in and settle for being a friend and nothing more.


	5. Chapter 5

Waking up Saturday morning Alex stretched feeling better after her conversation with Abbie, hearing movement in the kitchen Alex assumed it was Abbie. Getting out of bed she pulled on her robe and headed downstairs intending to make coffee and pancakes for her friend to thank her for her advise. She was surprised to see her wife sitting at the kitchen table taking in her posture Alex knew something was wrong.

"Hi, your back I missed you. Is everything okay?" Looking at her wife's face she could see she had been crying. "Is it the baby?" Asked Alex feeling her legs go weak as she pulled out a seat opposite her wife.

"The baby is fine. Our marriage on the other hand is not, I picked up your phone to put it on charge, because the battery alarm was bleeping when I came in and I know you need to keep it on for work. You had left your message screen open so when I plugged it in it light up, tell how was the sponge bath?"

"You read my messages?" Yelled Alex her fear coming out as anger. "What right did you have to do that?"

Standing up her wife walked to the window keeping her back to Alex, "Your angry at me? I was trying to be a good wife. That's all I have ever tried to be to you Alex. Are you screwing her? Is that why you were pissed when I saw you in the deli? Did I interrupt your date?"

"No! Of course not, I explained I was just tense from the case. They were just stupid messages that's all." Walking towards her wife she placed her hand on her back hoping it would calm her down and they could talk.

"Messages? As in more than one?"

"Poppy...I"

Stepping around the blonde Poppy announced "I'm going out." picking up her bag and walking towards the front door.

"Please don't go, we should talk about this. Yell at me if you want but stay so we can at least sort this out." Begged Alex.

Shaking her head but not turning around Poppy headed for her door "I need to clear my head, I can't do this now."

Hearing the door slam and her wife's car pulling out of the driveway Alex sank down on the sofa, trying to think of a way to fix this mess. Deciding she would get showered and dressed before making a special meal for her wife.

Sending her wife a text 'Please come home. I'm sorry. I love you. Xx' Alex set about getting dressed, berating herself for sending the texts in the first place and not deleting the them.

By nine that evening Alex was getting worried she had called, text and emailed her wife several times but received no reply. The dinner she had spent the afternoon making was ruined and she was becoming more anxious as time passed. Pulling out the whiskey Abbie had brought the night before, Alex was on her third glass when she heard a car in the drive.

Hearing keys in the door Alex stood up, seeing the defeated posture of her wife she began to cry, knowing her stupidity had hurt this wonderful woman. "Your home. I was getting worried. You could have at least sent me a text to let me know you were okay."

"Sorry. I went for a drive. That's the down side to being pregnant I can't drink my troubles away." Pointing to the bottle of whiskey on the table that was three quarters empty.

"I made you dinner, but it's ruined. Have you eaten? I can make you something. Can we talk? Please." Reaching out to her wife Alex felt a stab of pain when her touch was shrugged off.

"I'm fine I ate earlier. Not tonight I'm tired I'm going to bed." Walking towards the stairs she paused "I'll see you in the morning and we can talk. Sleep well Alex."

Watching her wife as she walked up the stairs Alex slumped back down on the sofa and poured another drink and then another. Replaying the conversation she had with Abbie the night before she loved Poppy she knew that but she couldn't switch off how Casey made her feel. Pouring another drink Alex knew it didn't matter what she felt for the redhead she was married with a baby on the way and even if she wanted to she couldn't walk away from her responsibilities. Swallowing another drink Alex drifted off to sleep hoping she could convince Poppy she was committed to their marriage.

Waking up Alex noticed she was covered with a blanket and the whiskey glass and bottle had been removed and been replaced with a glass of water and pain killers. Smiling at the thoughtfulness of her wife, she stretched and drank the water before taking a shower and getting dressed. Hearing her wife in the room they used as a study Alex took a deep breath before going in.

Seeing her wife intently studying a book she cleared her throat before speaking. "Thank you, for the blanket and water. You always look after me." Looking at the shadows under her wife's eyes she could tell she hadn't slept well and the feeling of guilt surged through her again.

Looking up from the book she was reading Poppy took the time to study her wife, she could see the pain in her eyes, standing up she walked around the desk and pulled her wife in for a hug. "I will always look after you. I love you Alex but if you are cheating on me..."

"I'm not, I promise I never would. I guess I was freaking out about being a mother and I was flattered by the attention." She didn't mention she was tempted. "I love you and our baby. Please forgive me."

"I know you love us." Placing her hand in her bump she took a breath before continuing. "Are you sleeping with her?"

"No!"

"Do you want to?" Leaning against the edge of the desk waiting for Alex to answer, Poppy was frightened that her wife who loved words, knew their meaning and a hundred ways to bend them to her will struggled to answer.

"No, of course not. We're married, I wouldn't cheat on you, I love you." Pulling her wife in for a hug and a kiss, Alex asked, "What would you like todo today? Should we start shopping for the nursery?" Hoping a day relaxing would help heal the rift between them.

Smiling tightly at her wife Poppy agreed and the two got ready and headed for the store. Deciding it would be better if Poppy drove as she had the bigger car and wasn't hung over, on the way talk turned to ideas for the nursery and their next scan.

"Do you want to find out what we're having." Asked Alex, placing her hand on her wife's knee, smiling when her touch wasn't shrugged off.

"I don't know I keep changing my mind. It would be easier for buying stuff and picking names. What do you think?"

"I can't wait to find out. Do you have any names in mind?" Feeling her wife slip her hand into hers Alex felt herself start to relax for the first time that weekend.

"I like Ruby for a girl and I promised you if it was a boy we could name him Alexander for your father. How about you any names in mind?"

"I like both of those, seeing as you're the one doing the hard work you should pick." Teased Alex.

They spent the day picking out furniture, unisex baby grows and all manner of soft toys before heading for dinner in Alex's favourite Italian restaurant. Arriving home Alex led her wife to bed and spent the night reaffirming their love.

Monday morning Alex was surprised to see a cup of coffee from her favourite place sitting on her desk with a note leaning against it,

Alex,  
I'm sorry for flirting with you, I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me and we can be friends.  
See you at nine.  
Casey.

Releasing the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding Alex felt a sense of relief wash over her that she would not need to have the awkward conversation with Casey she had been rehearsing in her mind for her entire drive into work.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N. Thank you all for your reviews and messages it means a lot that such talented writers as TKR.87 and The Dark Knight's Princess are reading as I have always read and enjoyed their Stories. That said each one of you who read, review and post messages rock!

Two months later.  
Alex and Casey had forged a good working relationship and a tentative friendship, they were in the mist of a harrowing case involving young children who had been abused by the owner of the day care they attended. This case was getting to everyone involved but Alex had noticed the redhead seemed to be struggling with it especially when it came to dealing the victims and their families.

Heading to Casey's office to collect a report she needed Alex noticed the office was in darkness, surprised as it wasn't even three she decided to try the door anyway. Knocking and entering she saw Casey sitting at her desk eyes red from crying her posture defeated.

"Case?" Using a gentle voice in the hope it wouldn't startle the upset woman, Alex approached the desk.

Wiping her eyes and sitting up straight Casey looked mortified at being caught in such a vulnerable state, "Hi, I was just going to bring that file to you."

Walking over Alex pulled out the chair on the opposite side of the desk using the same gentle voice, "Talk to me? What's got you so upset."

Watching as the redhead took a shuddering breath and the tears began to fall, Alex stood and walked around the desk pulling Casey in for a hug. "Sweetie?" The term of endearment slipping from her lips as easy as breathing.

"How do you do it? Those poor children and their families have been irreversibly harmed all because...because.." Unable to continue, she leant into the blondes strong arms and gave it to the desperation she had felt since the case had come across her desk.

Rubbing Casey's back in small soothing circles, she couldn't help the butterflies that seemed to have taken flight in her stomach at the feeling of redhead in her arms, the feeling of her warm skin through the thin material of her blouse and the sent of her perfume. Closing her eyes Alex swallowed the temptation to place a kiss on Casey's forehead.

Holding Alex tight Casey began to relax and regain her equilibrium, "I'm sorry Al, I guess it all just got on top of me today. Those poor kids. I just...I'm sorry."

Reluctantly stepping back Alex gave Casey a small smile, "Don't be sorry, it gets to us all. I've seen Elliot punch walls and Liv throw things, hell even the Ice Queen has been known to have a melt down or two."

"I hate that people call you the Ice Queen, if they knew you they would know you are warm and friendly." Stated the redhead with passion.

Smiling at the woman opposite Alex felt her heart rate increase at Casey's defence of her. "Thank you Casey, that means a lot. Why don't you take off early and clear your head. I can finish the motions and we can pick up again in the morning." Offered Alex.

Shaking her head "That doesn't seem fair, anyway if anyone deserves to go early it's you. How about we both duck out and you let me buy you a drink as a thank you?"

"Give me half an hour and I'm all yours." Packing up her stuff Alex met Casey at a bar near the office, noting that there was a glass of her favourite wine waiting for her Alex couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at Casey thoughtfulness.

"Hi, I got you a glass of wine, I hope that's okay?" Asked Casey sounding hesitant.

"Perfect, how are you feeling?" Replied the blonde, pulling her jacket off and sitting down, taking a sip of her wine and giving Casey a wide smile.

"Better, do you mind if we talk about something else?" Giving a laugh she added "I don't want to be that crazy woman who cries in her wine."

Smiling Alex reached across the table and gave Casey's hand a reassuring squeeze, "So what do you think of the Mets chances this season?" Causing Casey to laugh, it was a well known fact Alex knew not cared about sport.

Smiling as she watched Casey laugh Alex found herself drawn into the sparkling green eyes wondered how it would feel to kiss her, to hold her every time she cried to be the one to make her laugh and make her eyes sparkle.

Not hearing Casey when she called her Alex blushed when she felt the redhead squeeze her hand, "Sorry, I was miles away. What was that?"

Smiling at the blushing blonde Casey asked, "I said would you like to get something to eat? Unless Poppy is waiting on you to get home?"

"Food sounds good, Poppy is having some wired cravings, she is probably having fizzy cola bottles and apple juice for dinner." She said smiling at the thought of her pregnant wife.

Sharing an enjoyable meal, Alex was enthralled by the stories Casey was telling her of her childhood, loving how her eyes sparkled with humour. Looking at her watch Alex realised it was almost nine and reluctantly realised she needed to head home.

Heading outside the bar they stood between their cars, "Thank you Al, I feel so much better now." Reaching out she pulled Alex in for a hug.

Feeling Casey's body against hers Alex felt the same butterflies in her stomach as she had earlier. Squeezing tighter Alex committed the feeling to memory, the way Casey's subtle curves felt, the way her cheek fitted perfectly against Casey's and the smell that was distinctly Casey. Letting go Alex felt a wave of sadness at the loss of contact.

"Call me anytime if you need to talk." Said Alex looking intently at Casey.

"I'll be fine, but thank you Alex."

Pulling up in the drive Alex took a minute to collect her thoughts before heading into her wife. Why did she feel guilty? It's not like she was sleeping with Casey, sure she had imagined it but everyone fantasised. Taking a deep breath she collected her stuff and headed inside calling out a greeting as she hung up her coat and took of her shoes.

"Hi, I was getting worried. I'll heat dinner up it won't take long I made baked Ziti your favourite." Said Poppy kissing her wife. "You've been drinking. Everything okay darling?" She asked with a concerned voice and a tilt of the head.

"I'm a big girl I'm allowed to go out with my friends. I went for a drink after work with Abbie that's all. You should have checked before cooking, I ate at the bar." Replied Alex in a harsher tone than she intended.

Looking down at the floor Poppy took a deep calming breath before answering. "I'm sorry, for trying todo something nice for you, knowing how horrid the case is your working on. I'm sorry for caring. I give up. I'll be in the study I have notes to write up." Turning on her heel and walking towards the study she stopped and turned. "Oh I almost forgot, Abbie called twenty minutes ago she wanted to know if we were free for dinner next weekend."

Sitting on the couch Alex put her head in her hands, What had she done? Standing up and pouring a drink she headed to the study to talk to her wife.

"I was out with Casey. This case is really getting to her." Said Alex. For the second time that day she was sitting opposite a crying woman only this time it was her fault.

"I guessed as much but why lie about it?" Looking at her wife "Are you sleeping with her? Be honest with me!"

"No! How could you ask that again!" Said Alex her voice rising.

"If there's nothing going on then why lie? Hmmm? I have no problem with you going out for a drink with her. Hell after the case your working on I'm surprised you only had the one, but Alex why lie if there's nothing to lie about?"

Looking at her hands it occurred to Alex that she had yet to offer her wife any physical comfort."I just figured you would be angry because of the texts. It seemed easier, I'm sorry."

"You've been saying that a lot recently. Are you regretting us getting pregnant?"

"No, I'm sorry this case has been a nightmare and I'm really tired. How about we go away this weekend?" Asked Alex finally walking around the desk to hug her wife.

"I can't I'm away remember for the conference. Maybe another time. I think I'll sleep in the spare room tonight, you need your sleep and my fidgeting is keeping you awake."  
Watching her wife walk out the door Alex was once again left feeling confused and guilty with no idea how to fix the mess she was making.

One month later.

It had been three months since Alex and Casey had started working together, there had been only minimal flirting between the two but they had become good friends since the night in the bar. Casey had begun dating Bella a friend of Poppy's from the hospital and the four had gone out on a couple of occasions. Each time it left Alex with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of stomach that she tried desperately to ignore.

At their last scan Alex and Poppy found out they were having a girl and were making preparations for the arrival of their baby girl in three months. The tensions over Casey had slowly been resolved and Alex was trying to repair the damage.

Walking into Casey's office on a Friday morning Alex was more than ready for it to be the weekend, "Hi, you still on for this evening?" Referring to their plans for an evening out with Abbie, Kim, Liv, Amanda and Serena.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. This week has been a nightmare!" Groaned the redhead "Is Poppy coming?"

"No, she is working. How about Bella?" Asked Alex hoping the blonde doctor wasn't going.

Shaking her head and leaning back in her chair Casey gave a sigh, "We broke up."

Alex felt an unexpected spark of happiness at the news. "I'm sorry. Why didn't you say anything? What happened?"

Tilting her head at the strange tone in Alex's voice, Casey replied "It's no big deal, it's not like we were in love. We just wanted different things. I'm surprised Poppy didn't say anything."

"She has been working strange hours, we haven't really had much time to talk lately." Standing to head back to her office Alex looked back over her shoulder at Casey who was watching her ass as she walked away. "Eyes up top Novak."

Grinning Casey just gave her a wink before pulling the folder she was working on when the blonde had entered towards her and started writing again.

Getting back to her office Alex looked at the picture of her and Poppy taken on the Fourth of July party, sighing as the heavy feeling of guilt once again settled in the pit of her stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N I'm not sure how good this is, I have a big presentation at work tomorrow so sleep has eluded me giving me time to finish and post this. Warning for smut and cheating.

The same evening,

Heading home early that evening in the hope of seeing her wife before she left for her shift at the hospital. Alex hoped she would make it in time for what had become their ritual over the last month, every evening Alex would read to the baby. Smiling when she saw Poppy's car was still on the driveway Alex rushed in excited to spend time with her family before an evening out with her friends.

"Hi, how are my girls today?" Called Alex heading into the lounge. Smiling when she saw her wife was waiting with the copy of 'The Hobbit.' Alex as half way through, determined her baby would love literature as much as she did.

"We're fine, we missed you though. I think Ruby knows it's story time, she started kicking as soon as she heard your voice." Smiling she placed a hand on her bump as she kissed her wife.

"Did you know Bella and Casey broke up?" She asked her wife in a curious voice.

"Yeah, Bella told me last night. Apparently they were in bed and Casey called out the wrong name." Grimacing she added "Bella was really upset. I feel kind of guilty. Was Casey okay?"

"She seemed a little down about it." Lied Alex "She didn't say why they broke up though. I'm guessing she was embarrassed. Did Bella say what name?"

Shaking her head, "Nope, I didn't like to pry. Maybe after a few glasses of wine you can get it out of her tonight." Laughing she watched her wife get settled to start reading to their daughter.

Taking the book and placing her hand on her wife's bump Alex began to read. Finishing the chapter Alex was disappointed that her wife had to work. Putting the book down she whispered 'I love you' to the the now restful baby, before kissing her wife good bye as she left for work.

Heading for the shower to start getting ready for her night out Alex found her mind wondering to Casey and her breakup with Bella, she wondered who the redhead was thinking about? There was a part of her that hoped it was her name the redhead called out. As her mind wondered to images of Casey in the throws of passion she felt her body start to respond.

Trailing a hand over her already hard nipples Alex bit her lip to stop herself from moaning, using the other hand she began to circle her hard clit moaning at the sensation she began to go faster before entering her wet heat, curling her fingers to hit her G-spot it took just a few strokes for her to cum. Leaning against the shower wall to get her breath back Alex felt guilty at once again thinking of Casey rather than her wife.

Getting out of the shower, Alex looked through her closet to find something to wear deciding on her tight black jeans, green silk top and fitted jacket. Picking out a new set of lacy black underwear she had brought recently her mind flashed once again to Casey. Shaking her head to remove the images she finished getting ready and headed to meet the others at the bar.

Arriving at the bar she saw Casey and Liv playing pool, whilst Amanda and Serena watched on Kim and Abbie were at the bar, signalling to Abbie for a drink Alex headed over to the group. Brushing up against Casey causing her to miss her shot and turn to glare at the person who bumped her. Laughing at the look on the redheads face Alex went and sat with Serena who was thinking of ways to chat up the barmaid.

After about an hour Amanda and Liv got called back to the station to follow up on a lead connected to their current case assuring Alex they would call if they needed her. Not long after that Serena succeeded in chatting up the barmaid and had moved to the bar to 'keep her company.' Leaving Abbie and Kim and Alex and Casey at the table.

"So Casey, Poppy was talking to Bella last night...who was a naughty girl?" Asked Abbie laughing at the frightened look on the redheads face.

"What? I told you we wanted different things. People to be exact." Said Casey.

"Casey you dog!" Chimed in a tipsy Abbie, who was leaning heavily against Kim, who shook her head before standing.

"Come on Carmichael, I think you have had enough. I'm taking you home." Shrugging off the offers of help from Alex and Casey. Kim and Abbie left, leaving the two attorneys alone at the table.

Laughing at her friends antics Alex's was swaying to the music hearing a song she loved she dragged Casey to the dance floor. Feeling Casey's body against hers as they swayed to the music, Alex began to run her fingers under the t-shirt Casey was wearing, moaning at the feeling of Casey's skin under her finger tips.

Leaning in Alex pressed her lips to the redheads in a brief kiss, that was immediately followed by a deeper kiss and then another. "Alex?"

Taking Casey by the hand the two walked outside, pressing Casey against the passenger side of her car they shared another kiss, their tongues battling for dominance a battle won by Alex. Threading her fingers through the red hair that had haunted her her dreams. "Get in."

Walking to the drives side, Alex pushed all thoughts of her wife to the back of her mind as she drove towards Casey's apartment. Their hands entwined on the gear stick sharing long looks and short kisses at every stop light.

Walking into Casey apartment, Alex found herself pushed roughly up against the door as Casey began to kiss her jaw and neck, moaning at the sensation Alex pulled the redheads t-shirt over her head taking Alex's hand Casey lead her to the bedroom.

Removing Alex's top Casey ran a finger across the lace on Alex's bra,"Do you like it?" Purred Alex seeing the redhead nod she leaned in dragging her teeth across Casey earlobe before whispering "I was thinking of you when I picked it out." Using the redheads words from before.

Pushing Alex back onto the bed Casey straddled her waist, placing gentle kisses along her jaw as she removed the blondes bra and then her own, pushing Alex onto her back she removed the remainder of their clothing leaving them both naked.

Running her hands over Casey's pale skin Alex tweaked a stiff nipple between her fingers, before leaning down and taking it into her mouth flicking it with her tongue. Trailing kisses across to the other dusky peak Alex dragged her teeth across the sensitive bud causing Casey to arch her back.

Kissing back up Casey's neck, Alex claimed her lips as she ran her fingers through the panting woman's sodden folds. Thrusting her long fingers into the waiting heat Alex groaned at the wetness that was waiting for her. Moving her thumb to Casey's hard clit it took just a few thrusts to bring Casey over the edge.

"Wow" panted the redhead leaning up to claim Alex's lips in a long slow kiss before flipping them over placing the blonde beneath her.

Kissing along the blondes jaw and neck before placing open mouthed kisses across the blondes chest, toned stomach and thighs she ran her tongue through the wetness that had pooled between the blondes legs. Moaning at the taste the vibrations caused Alex to buck her hips, sucking the hard clit into her mouth she entered the blonde with two fingers curling them to hit the blondes G-spot. It didn't take long for Alex to come screaming Casey's name.

"Wow yourself." Mumbled Alex, pulling Casey close the two spent the night exploring each other's bodies, falling asleep in the small hours of the morning.

Waking up Alex looked down at the woman asleep on her chest she knew she had fallen in love with the redhead. Beginning to cry as the feeling of guilt hit her full force, she slipped from the bed dressing quietly she let herself out. Sitting in her car she let the tears fall, tears for her wife, her baby, for herself and for Casey.

Pulling up on her drive the Alex was surprised to see an angry Texan leaning against the bonnet of her car. Taking a deep breath she stepped out and without saying a word to her friend. Alex unlocked the door leaving it open for Abbie to follow her.

"What the hell happened to you and Novak last night? Serena said one minute you were on the dance floor the next you were gone." Seeing the guilty look on her friends face Abbie exclaimed "Oh God Alex tell me you didn't sleep with her."

Slumping down on the couch with her head in her hands, "I messed up Abbie. I came home last night and read to my baby before kissing my wife goodbye, telling her I loved them both. Then spent the night screaming another woman's name. I'm so confused. It's like I don't know who I am anymore, I cheated on my pregnant wife. Oh god Abbie what am I going to do? I love my wife but with Casey I..."

Looking up at her friend who had gone pale she asked "What?"

Hearing a smash she turned to see her wife standing by the kitchen, a smashed glass at her feet looking devastated.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: sorry for the delay in posting this, it took a while before I was remotely happy with it. As always thank you for the reviews and continue to leave your thoughts.

Apartment of Casey Novak,  
Waking up Casey was disappointed when she realised she was alone, figuring the blonde had left to get home before her wife a thought that left her feeling guilty and slightly sick. Finding her phone still in her jeans from the night before she pulled up the message screen she sent Alex a message.

'Alex, We need to talk about last night. Please let me know you're okay and if your free to talk. Xx'

Sighing she got out of bed deciding to take a shower, standing under the water she let her mind wonder to the blonde. She knew Alex was married with a baby on the way but she was in love with her and last night showed she wasn't alone in those feelings. It was all such a mess, Casey knew she should walk away leave Alex alone but when she thought of not seeing the blonde anymore she felt sick. At the same time she wouldn't be the other woman.

Finishing her shower she got dressed and was disappointed that the blonde had not responded to her text and hoped Alex was okay.

Home of Alex and Poppy Cabot-Kane.  
"Poppy."

"Get out!" Came the tense reply.

"No we need to..." Stated Alex.

"Not you. You." Pointing at Abbie she continued "I thought we were friends, I trusted you!"

"We are, Poppy I..." Began the Texan, only to be cut off by the upset woman.

"No! No a friend would have warned me that my wife was cheating on me with two bit tart she works with. Get out of my house."

Holding her hands up in surrender Abbie replied sadly "I'll leave, Poppy I'm sorry if you feel I betrayed you, I was trying to be a friend to both of you." Looking at Alex who had yet to move Abbie squeezed her arm as she walked towards the door. "Call me if you need anything, either of you."

Hearing the door shut Alex turned to her wife who was still standing by the kitchen door breathing heavily.

"Why Alex? Why would you do this to us?" Asked Poppy in a broken voice filled with pain and tears.

"I didn't mean it to happen. I swear never meant to hurt you. I just got caught up in the flattery and made a mistake. I'm so sorry..."

"Stop. Stop talking." Slumping in a chair she looked up at her wife. "I asked you if you were sleeping with her. You said no you promised me you wouldn't cheat on me. How long has it been going on."

"It was a one time thing! I promise..." Started Alex she was interrupted by a sarcastic laugh from her wife.

"You 'promise' like that means anything. You promised to be faithful, you do remember our wedding vows right? Your promises mean nothing to me anymore."

"Poppy, I...I don't know what to say. Tell me how to make this right?" Begged Alex walking to her wife. Not surprised when her touch was shrugged off.

"Do you love her?"

"I'm married to you." Countered Alex.

Giving her wife a sad smile Poppy shook her head. "Stop dodging the question Alex. Do you love her?"

"I love you..." Tried Alex again.

"No stop! So it was just sex? You feel nothing at all for Casey?" Starting to pace she continued. "What you don't fancy me know I'm fat is that it?"

"No! Your beautiful. Please sit down, you need to calm down think of Ruby." Pleaded Alex.

"Why, you weren't thinking about me or Ruby last night. You were to busy 'screaming another woman's name' remember?" Wincing she doubled over feeling an intense pain shoot through her stomach.

"Poppy?" Rushing to her wife's side, Alex could feel her wife shaking.

"Alex, we need to go to the hospital. Something's wrong. Oh God." Leaning against her wife the two made their way to Alex's car.

The fear in her wife's voice frightened Alex more than anything, Poppy was always calm and rational yet she sounded terrified. "Just breath, we're almost there. It's going to be okay." Said Alex hoping to keep her wife calm. She reached across attempting to hold Poppy's hand to give her a small measure of comfort.

"Just hurry please." Moving her hand away from Alex's touch, Poppy winced as the pain seemed to increase, a thousand thoughts and worries flying through her head.

Pulling up at the hospital they were rushed into a room, joined just minutes later my Dr. Mills, "Ladies, what appears to be wrong."

It was Poppy who answered "Last night I was at work and I started to feel sick and really lethargic so I had a friend drive me home. Now I'm having really bad cramps."

"Okay, just try and relax for me, we will do a scan and run some tests. Have you been under a lot of stress?" Asked the doctor as she set up the ultrasound machine.

"If finding out your wife is a cheating bitch counts as stress then yes." Snarled Poppy looking at her blushing wife.

Looking between the two the doctor was surprised they were having problems they had always seemed a solid couple. Looking at Alex she took a deep breath. "Maybe you should wait outside Alex."

"No chance! That's my baby too I have a right to know what's going on." Replied Alex anger in her voice.

"I want you to leave. It's my body, my choice and MY baby." Snapped Poppy.

Seeing the anger and hurt in Alex's eyes, knowing Poppy was just angry and frightened and would regret her outburst once she had calmed down, the doctor intervened, "Just wait in the waiting room please Alex. I will come and let you know what's happening as soon as I'm done in here I promise. Right now we need to get Poppy to relax." Once Alex had left the room the doctor looked at Poppy, "Can I call anyone for you?"

Shaking her head, "No I just want to know what's happening."

Three hours later the two were on their way home after being assured it was just stress and that the baby would be fine providing Poppy relaxed.

Poppy was considering starting her maternity leave early to elevate some of her stress. As for their marriage Poppy wasn't sure anything could fix that but she knew making Alex leave for the scan and saying it was her baby was a horrid thing to do when they were both worried. Sitting in the car waiting for Alex to collect their take out from the pizza place, she was staring at the scan picture taken earlier trying to figure out a way to make things better, for the sake of their baby. The rational part of her knew they needed to talk and make a decision but part of her was so angry at Alex she could hardly stand to look at her. She knew Alex had dodged the question of her feelings for Casey several times. It frightened her to think she could end up losing her wife just as they started a family, but it frightened her more to consider a marriage filled with resentment and anger. She was pulled from her thoughts by the blonde getting back in the car, she used the remainder of the drive to study her wife, noting the defeated posture and the guilty looks she kept sending her. What a mess.

After a few abortive attempts at conversation Alex gave up and let the uncomfortable silence stretch between them. She knew there was little she could say to repair the damage she had caused. She hadn't replied to Casey's text, knowing she could never walk away from her responsibilities to her wife and child, even if she was in love with Casey. Throwing down the slice of pizza she had been eating she felt sick at the realisation that she loved another woman. When her wonderful pregnant wife was sitting opposite her looking devastated.

Not able to stand the silence any more Poppy decided to take a bath and get some sleep. Starting for the stairs she turned to see her wife still seated at the table, caressing the latest scan picture a look of love and guilt on her face. "You should get some sleep you look shattered."

"How can you be nice to me?" Asked Alex, not looking up.

Coming back and sitting next to her wife, she reached out and took Alex's hand. "What ever happens we're having a baby in just under three months. We can't hate each other. No matter how much I want to hate you right now it won't do any good." Seeing Alex about to speak she shook her head and continued. "I was wrong to make you leave the room before, I was just angry and I wanted to hurt you. It was a cheap shot and I'm sorry. I'm going to take a bath and have an early night, I suggest you do the same, I'll put your stuff in the spare room for now and we can decide where we go from here later."

Nodding her head Alex gave a weak smile "Sleep well. Please come and find me if you need anything or you feel unwell again."

"Promise. Good night Alex."

After tossing and turning for most of the night Alex decided to get up and make a cup of coffee, before waking her wife. Walking into the kitchen she saw a note propped against the coffee maker.

Alex,  
I need some space to clear my head. I think you have some thinking to do as well. Each time I have asked if your in love with Casey, you have dodged the question. It's make your mind up time. What ever you decide the baby is ours not mine and you will be a part of her life.  
Poppy.

Slumping down of the sofa Alex let the tears fall by the afternoon she had made a choice, calling her wife's phone she wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. "Poppy, I know you wanted space but please come home. I made a mistake a stupid mistake one I will spend forever making up to you. Please come home so we can talk. I love you."

Monday morning.  
Having slept badly Alex was beyond tired, Poppy had called her back and agreed they could talk later in the week, she just needed some time. It was just after nine in the morning and she already had a killer headache, she had already been confronted by an angry Liz and and even angrier Abbie.

Swallowing two painkillers dry Alex sighed when she heard a knock on her office door, calling out a tense "Come in." She sighed when she saw Casey walk in, holding out a cup of coffee and a Red Velvet Muffin.

"Hi Al, you look like hell. Everything okay?" Asked Casey smiling at Alex.

"Not really. What can I do for you Miss Novak?" Snapped Alex avoiding eye contact with the confused looking redhead. "I'm very busy. As I'm sure you are."

"I brought you coffee. I hoped we could talk. I can come back later if that's better for you?"

"There's nothing to talk about. It was a one time mistake, I'm married. Did you not get the hint when I didn't reply to your texts over the weekend?"

"I realise your married, but I know it meant something I could see it in your eyes. You have feelings for me." Said Casey her voice rising as she went on. "You don't kiss and hold someone the way you kissed and held me if they don't mean anything to you."

"You mean nothing to me Cassandra. Nothing! It was a mistake. Stay away from me and my family." Looking at the devastation of the redheads face Alex's heart broke.

"The other night, you said..."

"I know what I said, but because of our mistake I might have lost my wife. My pregnant wife who ended up in hospital because of the stress this has caused." Snapped Alex, hiding her heartbreak behind anger. "If you mention it again I will have you transferred. Do you understand?"

"Of course Alexandra. I'll have my transfer request on your desk by the end of the week." Holding her head up high Casey walked out of the door, not giving into the tears until she was locked in her office.

Watching as Casey left Alex had to fight the temptation to reach out and comfort her and beg her not to leave. Slumping in her chair as the door closed Alex closed her eyes and for the first time in years prayed to a god she wasn't sure she believed in for guidance.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N thank you for all your reviews. This chapter is brought to you by copious amounts of tea and rich tea biscuits.

After a week of promises and pleading on Alex's part Poppy had moved back into the house, although Alex was still sleeping in the spare room. They had talked, fought and cried but things although still tense were slowly improving. They had finished putting the nursery together and Poppy had decreased her hours at the hospital, reducing the risk of any more complications with the pregnancy.

Things at work on the other hand were not improving Liz was still beyond angry that Alex had let her personal life spill into the office and was making Alex's life a misery. Especially because Casey wanted to leave splitting up what had become one of the best teams in the DA's office. Rumours of what happened between her and Casey had spread meaning she had to endure the stares and whispers of her coworkers. Her friends although outwardly supportive, defending her when needed had all shown their disapproval at Alex's reckless behaviour.

Things between Casey and Alex were beyond awful, Alex knew she should have handled the situation better, firstly she shouldn't have slept with her and secondly she shouldn't have put all the blame on the younger woman. It was her fault, she was the one who cheated on her wife, not Casey. It was too late to take it back now she would just have to live with the guilt of not only hurting her wife but Casey as well.

Casey who's eyes had once shined with enthusiasm were now dull and lifeless, she had lost her swagger that spark that made her so uniquely Casey was gone and it was all because Alex had been selfish and thoughtless. The once seamless flow they shared in the court room was now a shambles, they could no longer read each a trait that had made them a formidable team. The detectives who had welcomed Casey so readily now referred to her as 'Councillor' not in a playful way but to avoid any personal interaction with the woman they saw as a home wrecker.

Coming home on Friday Alex was beyond tired and was looking forward to a glass of wine and an early night. Casey's transfer back to white collar crimes had come through and today was their last day. Alex couldn't deny the sadness she felt at not seeing the redhead everyday despite the fact the two didn't speak outside of professional necessity and the fact she had resolved to fix her marriage. Heading inside she saw her wife relaxing in the sofa laughing at 'The Big Bang Theory.' putting on her best fake smile she called out a greeting hanging up her coat. "Hi, how was your day?"

"Fine,I spent most of it lounging on the sofa and Ruby here." Placing a hand in her stomach "Spent the day practicing her trampolining skills on my bladder." Smiling she studied her wife, noting the look of sadness in her eyes.

Alex gave her first real smile of the day as she shook her head placing her hand over her wife's on the bump she said "It wasn't trampolining, she was practicing her courtroom pacing."

Gripping Alex's hand Poppy tilted her head, "Talk to me Al, why do you look so sad?"

"It's just work stuff, I'm fine." Giving another fake smile "What do my girls fancy for dinner?"

"I made baked ziti, it just needs putting in the oven to warm up..." Seeing tears in her wife's eyes, she got up and pulled her in for a hug. "Talk to me please Alex. I hate seeing you like this. Whatever it is we can fix it."

"How can you be so fucking nice to me, I slept with another woman!" Asked Alex, starting to pace. "I'm nothing but a bitch, I flirted with Casey, I kissed her, I initiated going to bed with her and then I screamed at her told her she was nothing I treated her like she was nothing. All because I was too frightened to tell her I loved her..." Realising what she had said she clamped a hand to her mouth and ran for the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach.

Feeling her wife behind her rubbing soothing circles on her back, she began to cry again. She didn't deserve this woman, she didn't deserve Casey and now she was going to end up alone.

"Alex, sweetheart please calm down. It's going to be okay." Said Poppy in a calm voice. "Clean yourself up and I will meet you downstairs, we need to talk."

It took Alex ten minutes to get her emotions under control before she went downstairs, seeing her wife sitting at the table she walked over and pulled a chair out opposite her.

"Alex, I love you and I know you love me and Ruby, but you have to face it you're in love with Casey."

"I can't be! We're married with a baby due in a couple of months. My parents will disown me, not to mention what Liz will do to my career. It's just a crush I need to get over it, I love you. Casey transferred today so I won't see her anymore, it's for the best."

"Alex, it's eating you up inside. What are you so afraid of? Liz and your parents might not like it but they love you and will stand by you."

"That I can handle, losing you and Ruby..." Unable to finish the sentence before the tears began again. She felt her wife move next to her and pull her close.

"Alex, you will never lose Ruby. You are her mom and we might not be married anymore but we will always love each other on some level because of her."

"Why are you pushing me towards Casey?" Asked Alex "Do you have someone else?"

Shaking her head Poppy took a moment to form a reply knowing Alex was deflecting " I love you Alex and I always will no matter what happens we are going to be parents. Which means we are always going to be in each other's lives, we have to be civil and if Casey truly holds your heart then at some point you are going to leave me for her." Seeing Alex about to interrupt she held her hand up "Please let me finish because if I stop I'm not sure I will have the strength to do this."

"One day one of us is going to leave probably after lots of arguing and resentment, why make our child watch that when we can do this civilly before either of us ends up crushed. I don't know as much about the law as you, but I'm sure we can get a divorce fairly easily, I don't want your money I'll buy you out of the house and we can share custody once Ruby is old enough. In the mean time maybe you can stay here." Taking a deep breath she added " If you want to date Casey all I ask is until I have had the appropriate amount of time to hate you both you don't bring her to the house."

"Why are you saying all of this? Just stop!" Yelled Alex starting to pace, she knew what her wife was saying made sense but she couldn't do that to her.

Standing up Poppy stopped Alex from pacing looking in to her eyes, she pressed a gentle kiss to her lips one that said more than any of the words exchanged so far, it said I love you, I will always love you but mostly goodbye.

"Go to her, you love her and if she is who you want then go. I would rather our baby has two happy loving mothers apart than two who resent each other forced to stay together for the sake of the baby. Stop worrying about what other people will think and start going after what you want and follow your heart. It might not be the easy path and at times it is going to be hard but I love you enough that I want you to be happy and if Casey makes you happy then go the rest we can work out together."

Looking at Poppy, Alex felt her heart brake, but she realised this hurt less than the thought of not being with Casey. "Poppy, I..."

"Go" turning on her heel Poppy headed for the stairs, she might have been able to tell Alex to go after Casey but she couldn't watch her leave.

Hearing the bedroom door shut it took Alex a few minutes to collect her thoughts before heading for the front door. Pulling up outside of Casey's apartment building Alex was suddenly afraid, she had hurt the younger woman badly what of she shut the door in her face. Taking a breath she decided it was time to take responsibility for her mistakes and hope Casey would at least hear her out.

Walking up to Casey's door Alex felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest it was beating so fast. Knocking on the door she felt her phone alert her to a message. When Casey opened the door Alex was shocked to see just how tired and upset the red head looked.

"What do you want Alex?"

"Can I come in? I would rather not do this on the doorstep."

Stepping aside Casey let her in walking to the kitchen she offered Alex a glass of wine, declining the blonde took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Casey, I was a coward. You were right I love you..." Deciding actions speak louder than words she stepped forward and pressed her lips against Casey's. Feeling Casey push her away Alex's heart sunk.

"Stop Alex, I won't be the other woman, you screw and then discard like used trash!"

Seeing Casey cry Alex realised just how much she had hurt her, "Its not like that, I want a relationship with you, if you will have me. Me and Poppy talked, she made me realise we don't have to be together to love and raise our child. I know I come with baggage and it won't be easy but I love you . I have loved you since you walked into my office. I'm begging you please give me a chance to love you."

Casey could see the sincerity in Alex's eyes, "So you left your wife for me, that will increase my popularity."

"I don't care what people think, as long as we love each other what does it matter?"

"I don't know Alex, I need some time. You hurt me."

"Fine, I'll give you some space, but please come back to SVU we need you. Can I call you tomorrow?"

"I'll call you. Do you have somewhere to stay?"

Alex was touched Casey cared about her despite all that had happened. "Until Ruby is born and old enough to be away from Poppy, I'm going to stay at the house. As much as I love you, I won't walk away from my daughter."

"I understand. I'll call you tomorrow and will talk to Liz about undoing my transfer." Walking to the door and opening it for Alex.

"Good night Case." Whispered Alex.

"Night Al, I'll call you tomorrow." Placing a soft kiss on the blondes cheek, Casey closed the door, leaning against it she felt lighter than she had in a while but she knew before she made a choice about Alex, she needed to talk to Poppy.

Arriving home after talking to Casey, Alex saw the light on under the nursery door knocking lightly she went in seeing her wife sitting in the rocking chair staring into space. "Hi, you okay?"

"Yeah, I was just checking out the nursery. I think I will turn in now. Night Alex."

"Night Poppy." Standing under the spray of the shower Alex wondered if she could ever heal the hurt she had caused. She hoped Poppy was right and after some time they could all get along and be in each other's lives.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N. Thank you for all your reviews even those expressing negative thoughts. It's all part of the process if your not enjoying it then please feel free not to read...just an idea. Anyway onwards. Please leave your thoughts as I appreciate them all.

Just as she was getting into bed Alex remembered her phone had bleeped earlier meaning she had a message, hoping it was nothing work related she opened the message screen seeing she had two messages. The first was from Serena,

'Al, I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend recently. I hope you know I'm always here for you.x' replying in the affirmative she felt a little lighter knowing she wasn't going to lose her friend.

She saw the second was from Liz 'Casey will be reinstated with SVU from Monday. I trust you will make things right with her and your detectives.' Feeling relieved that Casey would once agin be working in SVU. Making a plan to speak to the detectives on Monday over donuts and coffee, Alex finally fell asleep.

Waking up the next morning Alex headed down to the kitchen surprised Poppy was not already awake, she made some tea heading up to the bedroom they once shared. Hesitating she knocked gently before poking her head around the door. As she walked in the memories hit her, Sunday mornings reading the paper in bed before spending the afternoon making love, the passionate make up sex after arguments and the place they swapped hopes, dreams and secrets.

Swallowing the feelings of guilt she noticed the neatly made bed she checked the nursery and the garden before calling Poppy.

"What do you need Alex?" Came the tense reply.

"I was worried about you, that's all. I'm sorry. " replied Poppy sigh she added "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I had some errands to run. I will see you later." Without saying goodbye she hung up. Turning her attention to the nervous looking woman sitting opposite her. Still confused as to why Casey wanted to meet up with her and even more confused as to why she agreed. Must be the hormones.

"I'm not sure what you want for me Casey? If your looking for forgiveness or my blessing then I'm sorry but right now I can't give you that."

"I'm not sure either, I just wanted you to know I never set out to hurt you or come between you and Alex. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry." Finally looking at Poppy rather than staring into her coffee.

"I appreciate you coming and talking to me, like I told Alex last night, I would rather Ruby grow up with two mothers who are apart but care for each other than, two who stay together and end up resenting each other." Said Poppy, hoping her voice sounded strong despite how she felt inside.

"That's a selfless attitude to take. Alex came to see me last night, is it true you told her to?" Asked Casey.

"Yes, she loves you Casey and whilst I might need some time to hate you both, if you are truly going to be a part of Alex's life then by extension you will be part of Ruby's life and mine. That means we will have to put our differences aside and get along because I have seen what it does to a child when their forced to choose sides and I won't let anyone hurt my daughter."

Nodding her head at Poppy's words Casey took a sip of drink before replying. "I can see why Abbie and Liv threatened to kick my ass for hurting you, I hope one day we can be friends. I know that's a lot to ask especially right now. As for being in Alex's life I'm not sure that is an option at the moment."

"I can't give you advice on dating my wife." Anger showing in her voice for the first time since they had met.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it to come out like that, I just meant I will stay away whiles you two work everything out." Said Casey.

"It's a little late for that don't you think. I spoke to my lawyer today, she is drawing up the divorce papers as well as custody arrangement. If you want to date Alex then that's up to the two of you, but I don't want to see it. Alex is staying in the guest room for now because it's what's best for Ruby so they can bond when she is born. Given the feeding logistics of a new born it makes sense. It's not ideal and I'm sure at times it will be downright awful but for the sake of our daughter me and Alex need to remain civil." Standing up to leave she softened her voice. "She really does love you, don't hurt her and maybe one day we can be friends."

Walking back to her car Poppy realised that she needed time to heal away from Alex even if just for a week or so it wasn't going to help the baby if she was constantly stressed. Deciding to book into her favourite hotel for a week, she headed for home to pack. Arranging to meet Abbie for a drink in the hotel bar later, she missed her friend. She headed home to pack a bag, heading inside she saw Alex pacing the living room, divorce papers laid out on the table.

"You didn't waste anytime. Did you have these on standby?" She said indicating the papers on the table.

"Alex, what did you expect? Me to sit around waiting incase Casey doesn't want you? I want this sorted before Ruby is born. I'm a doctor Alex I know all the things that can go wrong so it's important to me we have the papers in order. Please if you feel anything for me sign them."

Heading upstairs Poppy packed a bag, coming back down she saw Alex sitting at the table the papers signed. "Thank you Alex. It's for the best. I'll be in a hotel for a week or so, I need some time to heal and I can't do that if I see you every day. I spoke to Casey today, she invited me for coffee, you know if she hadn't stolen my wife I think we would have been friends. I'll see you for the scan Thursday if your still coming."

"I can leave if you want to stay here?" Offered Alex.

"No it's fined have a week off it will be nice to lounge about ordering room service. Before I get back could you make sure all your stuff is in the spare room? I'll see you soon Alex, take care."

Watching Poppy leave Alex felt an overwhelming sense of sadness at the end of their marriage, even though she knew it was her fault. Slipping her engagement and wedding ring off she put them in her jewellery box knowing she would never part with them. Hoping Casey would call soon she invited Serena over to catch up and set about moving her things from the master bedroom into what was now her room.

Hearing her phone ring she automatically smiled when she saw it was Casey, "Hi, I was just thinking about you."

"Really? How strange I was just thinking about you."

Hearing the smile in Casey's voice Alex felt her heart flutter. "How was coffee?"

"It was fine I needed to explain that I never meant to hurt her or come between you. She really is amazing I can't imagine I would be that calm if I had been in her place. She said she had arranged divorce papers and a custody agreement. Are you okay?"

"I signed the papers, I know it's for the best and it's my fault but it's still hard. I never meant to fall in love with you. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for hurting her especially because she is pregnant."

"I understand that, I know it will take time, but I hope things work out."

"Casey would you like to go on a date with me next weekend?" Asked Alex nervously.

"Alex, I'm not sure, it's really quick I mean you just signed your divorce papers and you have a baby on the way. Plus how do I know you won't hurt me again like before?"

Hearing uncertainty in the redheads voice Alex hoped she could explain "I was so confused, I have never believed in love at first sight and then you walked into my office and my entire world was flipped upside down. I felt guilty all the time and I took it out on Poppy making me feel even worse. Then after we slept together and Poppy ended up in hospital I was so angry at myself I took it out on you, hoping if you hated me I would stop having feelings for you."

Spending two hours on the phone talking, Alex felt lighter for having spoken to Casey, who said she would think about going on a date with the blonde.

Uptown hotel,  
Settling into her hotel room Poppy had just got out of the bath when she received a text from Abbie saying she had arrived. Getting dressed she headed down to the bar smiling when she saw Abbie being chatting up by a man at the bar. Deciding to rescue her friend she exaggerated her 'pregnancy waddle' she walked over she placed a hand on Abbie's arm.

"There you are sweetie, I think the baby's coming." Laughing as the guy scurried away and Abbie went pale. She pulled her friend in for a hug before they ordered drinks and headed for a quiet table in the back. They spent several hours laughing about Kim and Serena dating, friends in common and Abbie's sports team neither mentioning Alex or Casey. Several drinks later on Abbie's part they headed up to Poppy's room.

"Thank you Abbie, I haven't had much to laugh about the last couple of months." Said Poppy hugging her friend tight losing the battle against the tears she had been holding back. "What the hell did I do wrong? I really though we would be together forever."

"Hey stop it! Alex is an idiot." Holding her friend for around half an hour until she had calmed down.

"It's not her fault, Casey is a beautiful woman, look at me I'm a blob."

"Your beautiful, I for one am very much enjoying your pregnancy cleavage." Leaning forward Abbie intended to press a gentle kiss to her friends cheek but at that moment Poppy moved and their lips ended up meeting in a slow kiss.

Pulling back Poppy looked mortified, "Abbie, I'm so sorry. I..." She was cut off when the Texan pressed another kiss to her lips.

"I'm not sorry, I have wanted to kiss you since the first time we met and I see you know looking sad and all I want to do is make you smile again. Your beautiful and all I want to do is kiss you and hold you. I would never have done anything to come between you and Alex don't get me wrong." The whiskey making her brave she went on. "I hate that Alex hurt you. I know it's bad timing but maybe once you have sorted your head out you would maybe consider going on a date with me."

"Abbie, your drunk. Look at me I'm fat and I'm going to have a baby in just under three months! Why would you want to date me?" Asked Poppy, startled when Abbie stood up.

"I should go, I've said to much."

"Abbie wait. Please!" Pulling Abbie in for a hug "please don't go." Feeling Abbie kiss her hard on the mouth she gave into feeling and kissed her back moaning when she felt Abbie deepen the kiss.

Stopping the kiss she rested her forehead against Abbie's "Abbie, I can't do this to you. You have feelings for me and I won't ever take advantage of you just because I'm feeling vulnerable and need some comfort. Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you. Can I hold you tonight?"

Smiling Poppy nodded, once they were in bed Abbie wrapped her arms around her. For the first time since she discovered Casey's texts to Alex Poppy fell asleep with a smile on her face and hope that maybe there would be a happy ending.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N. Thank you for all the reviews. Kim and Serena seem to split opinions. Abbie might have an agenda but she has a heart. I'm not sure about this chapter, Poppy finally gets angry. Let me know what you think.

Waking up it took Poppy a moment to realise where she was, feeling strong arms wrapped around her a hand spread protectively across her bump, she turned to study her still slumbering friend.

She had always though Abbie was attractive there was something sexy about her accent and 'hang 'em high attitude.' She was so different from Alex who played the political game.

"Hi, this is a nice way to start the day." Said Abbie, pulling Poppy closer.

"Howdy, cowgirl. Someone's accent is strong when she first wakes up." Laughed Poppy making no attempt to move away.

Clearing her throat Abbie laughed placing a kiss on the side of Poppy's head before answering "Yeah it becomes even stronger when I'm angry, drunk or ..." Trailing off she added "Tired."

Propping herself up on an elbow so she could look down at Abbie, Poppy raised her eyebrow. "Tired? Why do I get the feeling that wasn't what you were going to say?"

"Busted! I was going to say horny." Looking up at Poppy who was blushing. "You look cute when you blush." Feeling Poppy start to get up she added "I'm sorry. Me and my big mouth."

"It's not that, Ruby is using my bladder as a bounce house." Giving a soft smile before adding "I'll be right back, why don't you order us some breakfast from room service? If you don't have any plans?"

"I'm all yours for the weekend if you want me? What do you fancy?"

"Pancakes extra syrup with a side of bacon. Thanks Abb's. Won't be a minute." By the time she had freshened up breakfast had arrived and Abbie had set it out on the table. Seeing Abbie smile at her she found herself hoping Abbie would kiss her again. After an enjoyable meal Abbie went to shower whilst Poppy got dressed, pulling on clean underwear and jeans she searching for a top when she heard the bathroom door open. Attempting to cover her chest with her sleep top she blushed when she saw the look on Abbie's face.

"I'm sorry I thought you would be dressed. I'll go wait in the bathroom." Mumbled the embarrassed Texan.

Pulling her top on over her head Poppy replied "It's fine. I'm all dressed." Giving Abbie a sly grin and a wink she added "cowgirl."

"Can you blame me? I don't think you realise just how beautiful and sexy you are?" Asked Abbie walking towards Poppy.

Feeling her mouth go dry at the want in Abbie's voice, Poppy leaned in and pressed her lips to Abbie's, bringing her hands up to tangle her hands in the taller woman's damp hair. Moaning when she felt Abbie begin to trail kisses along her jaw and throat. Feeling Abbie's hand graze her extra sensitive breast she moaned claiming Abbie's lips in a searing kiss.

Leading Poppy to the bed asked "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure I want you to keep kissing me."

"Funny because that's what I want as well. We don't have to do anything more than kiss." Leaning down she pressed a series of kisses along the younger woman's jawline and throat. Feeling her shirt being pushed over her head she leaned back and getting a reassuring smile in return removed Poppy's t-shirt.

Leaning in for another kiss they heard the door slam open jumping apart they were confronted with an extremely angry Alex.

"Alex! What the hell?" Yelled Poppy scrambling to find her shirt. Turning her back she pulled it on.

"Get out Carmichael I want to talk to my wife!" Said Alex in an icy tone.

"No you need to leave not Abbie. Go wait for me in the other room."

Glaring Alex turned on her heel and walked out the room. Turning to look at Abbie Poppy apologised and followed the blonde.

"What the hell are you doing here Alex?" Asked Poppy in a rational voice.

"You didn't reply to my messages, I was worried. How long have you been fucking Abbie?"

"Stop!" Replied Poppy her voice deadly calm. "I never cheated on you, you threw our marriage away. I don't have to answer to you anymore."

"Is that why you were so quick with the divorce papers? There was me feeling guilty when all along you were sleeping with my friend. You nothing more than a cheap tart." Feeling a stinging slap Alex looked shocked.

"Get out! You told me you loved another woman. A woman you slept with whilst we were married. I deserve to be happy Alex. This isn't going to work if you are the only one allowed to move on. I thought I could share a house with you and we could be grown up about this but I can't I need some time. You are mad at me for spending time with Abbie, even though it was YOU who cheated."

"I'm sorry, it's just...I don't know. I can go stay with Serena or Liv for a few days, let you calm down." Said Alex

"No you need to move out completely! For a while at least. I want you gone by the weekend."

"It's my house I have a right to be there!" Shouted Alex.

"No you don't, you signed your half over to me remember. Please Alex don't make this harder than it needs to be." Begged Poppy.

Slumping in defeat Alex asked "What about being here for you and Ruby?"

"I'm a big girl, if I need you I will call. I need time Alex please understand that, you need time. There is about ten weeks until Ruby is due by then we should both have had time to adjust."

"Fine, I'll find a place and we can talk again once Ruby is here. I'm sorry, your right who you spend time with is none of my concern."

"Thank you Alex. Now you need to leave and in future you need to call before visiting." Watching as Alex headed for the door she added "Alex, I swear I have never cheated in you. Me and Abbie it's the first time we have ever."

Nodding her head sadly Alex left the room. Hearing the door shut Abbie emerged from the bedroom. Seeing Poppy sitting on the couch sobbing she pulled her close whispering words of comfort until she cried herself to sleep.

Leaving the hotel Alex felt like a complete bitch driving aimlessly she found herself at her godmothers, Liz had always been the one she went to when she needs guidance. She knew that although Liz was angry with her at the moment she would always listen. Taking a deep breath she stepped out of the car and knocked on the door. After a few moments it was opened by Liz, "Alexandra."

"I...I didn't know where else to go...I..." Giving into the tears she felt Liz usher her inside and into the lounge.

"I messed every thing up. I went barging in to Poppy's hotel room and accused her of sleeping with Abbie, then I all but called her a whore. Now she wants me out of the house. Casey thinks I just want to sleep with her. The squad hates me and you and my parents are disappointed in me. It's all a mess." Said Alex starting to pace.

"Calm down Alex and start at the beginning." Said Liz in a soft voice, she might be angry at her god daughter but seeing her broken that anger was replaced by worry.

"Friday night me and Poppy talked and she told me to follow my heart, that we could both love Ruby and be good parents even if we weren't together. So I went to see Casey, but I hurt her so badly she isn't sure she wants. Yesterday Poppy had me served with divorce papers which I signed and a custody agreement because she wanted it sorted before Ruby is born."

"So your upset that neither of these women you hurt want you? Get your ego in check Alex. If you truly love Casey then fight for her and as for you and Poppy that woman amazes me with her selflessness I'm not sure I would be so understanding. In fact I know I wouldn't have."

"I went to her hotel today, I bribed the receptionist for her room key and walked in on her in bed with Abbie..."

"Carmichael?" Clarified Liz.

"Yeah, she said she never cheated and I believe her. I know Abbie has always had a little crush on her, I used to tease her about it. I should be pleased for her, it's just all happened so quickly."

"Alex, you need to get your head sorted before your daughter is born. That should be your priority end of story. If she is finding comfort in Abbie then so be it. Your going to be parents you have to get along."

Nodding the two spent the next few hours talking and when Alex left she felt better and had a plan in mind to fix her mistakes starting with Poppy. She sent Poppy a text, 'I'm sorry about this morning. I will start looking for an apartment tomorrow. See you Thursday. X'

She headed for a florist, buying a dozen red roses she went to Casey's apartment. Before getting out of the car she saw Poppy had replied. 'Thank you, I'm sorry for slapping you, well almost sorry. See you Thursday. X'

'I deserved it. Please pass my apologies onto Abbie. X'

Getting out of the car she headed up to Casey's apartment and knocked on the door, taking a deep breath as she heard the lock being drawn back.

"Alex." Said Casey surprised to see the blonde.

Handing Casey the flowers she said, "I'm not staying but this is me telling you I'm intending to fight for you, for us. Have a nice evening. See you tomorrow." Turning she started walking down the corridor feeling a set of hands turning her she felt Casey press a hard kiss on her mouth before turning and walking back to her apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N, I hope this chapter shows Abbie's true intentions and starts the healing process. Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and messages.

Waking up earlier than normal on Monday morning Alex headed to the coffee shop opposite the station and brought coffee and donuts for the squad, heading for the station she began to feel nervous. As the lift door's opened she took a deep breath knowing she needed to fix relations between the detectives and Casey for the sake of their victims and to show Casey she was one hundred percent behind her. Seeing Liv sitting at her desk talking to Elliott and Amanda she headed over placing the donuts and coffee's down just as Munch and Fin came in arguing about aliens.

Amanda was the first to speak "Morning Alex, your here early, is everything okay?"

"I brought coffee and donuts for you all." replied the blonde avoiding eye contact.

Looking at her friend Liv had a good idea what this visit was about. "Thanks, but why?"

"I want to do this unofficially, you all need to lay off Casey, stop with the 'councillor' business and ignoring her."

It was Elliott who answered, "What does it matter she isn't our ADA anymore."

"Yes she is and it matters because, whilst you might not approve of our relationship it is none of your business and the personal and the professional need to be kept separate." snapped Alex becoming annoyed that she had to defend herself.

"You're a fine one to talk about separating the personal and professional, banging your second chair whilst your pregnant wife is at home." snapped Liv.

"Really Liv, you want to go there? Because you weren't so high and mighty when you started sleeping with yet another of your co-workers. What does that make it four a or five you have fucked now?" Shouted Alex annoyed at her friends attitude.

"The difference is Alexandra I wasn't married..." started Liv before she was interrupted by Fin.

"Hey leave her alone, its her choice ain't none of us perfect. You can count on me Alex." said Fin taking his coffee and a donut. "Thanks for these Alex and tell Casey I for one am glad she is staying. We need all the help we can get if we're going to beat the homicide team at softball next week."

"Relationship?" asked Munch "I thought it was a one time thing, at least that's the gossip around the court house."

Smiling gratefully at Fin, Alex looked at Munch. "To answer your question and put an end to the gossip. Poppy wants a divorce and i'm not fighting it. You can't help who you love and for me that's Casey."

"A divorce? Alex are you sure?" asked Liv in a softer voice.

"Yes, Liv we're sure both myself and Poppy, we talked and agree that we don't need to be together to be good parents. She told me to follow my heart and that's what I intend todo, so now you know so if you can't be professional to Casey I will talk to the Captain if the situation persists."

"Hey Alex, i'm sorry we should have been more supportive. If you need anything just ask." said Amanda giving Alex a quick hug as she picked up her coffee and got to work.

"Liv I need you to come by this afternoon to go over your testimony for court tomorrow. Enjoy the coffee's."

"Sure maybe we could grab lunch after and catch up?" asked the brunette detective.

Agreeing and arranging a time Alex left the squad room, hoping the detectives had got the message and would return to treating Casey like a friend.

Arriving at her office she was surprised to see Abbie sitting in her chair, feet propped on her desk, "You in the wrong office Abbie?"

"Nope, I was waiting for you. Do you have any idea what you did yesterday? How long it took to get Poppy to calm down? She cried herself to sleep all because of you." Said Abbie her voice rising as she went on. "You cheated on her and then when she left to try and heal her heart you busted in and called her a 'cheap tart.' you might not love her anymore Alexandra but nothing and I mean nothing gives you the right to talk to her like you did yesterday."

"I apologised it was a shock to find you in bed with my wife Abigail!" yelled Alex equally as annoyed as Abbie.

"Ex-wife! You threw her know what she told me whist she was sobbing on my shoulder?" seeing Alex shake her head she went on "That it was her fault she wasn't good enough, beautiful enough or cleaver enough to be with the great Alexandra Cabot."

Walking past the crying blonde she turned and added "If you ever make her cry like that again I will kick your ass from here to Dallas and back again."

Not willing to let Abbie get the last word Alex called "I would have thought you would be celebrating our divorce. Now there is nothing to stop you making a move." Feeling herself pinned agains the wall Alex was shocked by the hurt in Abbie's tone.

"I would never have come between the two of you, I told you to stay away from Novak, hell I even warned her, but as usual you didn't care who you hurt as long as you got what you wanted. You don't deserve either of them. You took an amazing woman and threw her away, I have never seen such pain in anyone's eyes. I don't get you Alex you had everything and you chucked it away for what? A..."

"Enough!" Came the stern voice of Liz "My office NOW." turning in her heel she didn't wait to see if they followed just marched into her office. Standing behind her desk she looked at the two dishevelled attorneys before her taking a deep breath she asked "Well which one of you is going to tell me what the hell that was all about?" When no answer was forthcoming she shook her head and sat down, of course she knew what it was about she just wasn't sure how to address it.

"It was my fault I provoked Abbie." offered Alex, chancing a glance at Abbie who was staring stoney-faced at Liz.

"I doubt Miss Carmichael is easily provoked. Start at the beginning or I will suspend you both and report you to the BAR." Snapped Liz.

"I wanted to make sure Alex realised she was a total..." seeing the look on Liz's face Abbie took a deep breath before continuing "Realised that she was out of line yesterday and just how much her allegations hurt Poppy. Thing's got out of hand I apologise to you Liz but i'm afraid whatever the consequences I wont apologies to Alex. I spent most of the weekend comforting a distraught friend, whilst Alex played the victim."

"Comforting! Is that what you call it?" snarked Alex.

"Alex!" snapped Liz. "Your both suspended for the week. Get out and when you return next week I expect you to act like professionals not hormonal teenagers."

Leaving Liz's office the two went their separate ways, heading to Casey's office Alex wondered how much of the confrontation the redhead had heard.

"Hi." Said Alex poking her head around the door.

"Hey yourself, how bad?" asked Casey.

"Suspended for a week and half the office now know i'm a heartless bitch." said Alex slumping in the chair opposite Casey's desk. "Oh well at least I have the week to find an apartment. I should go, can I call you later?"

"Of course, Alex i'm sorry if I had done as Abbie said and stayed away then none of this would have happened." said Casey hanging her head.

Walking around the desk Alex pulled the younger woman to her feet and held her close, "It's not like either of us planned this I had no control over falling in love with you." placing a gentle kiss on Casey's lips she gave her a warm smile before leaving the office. Texting Liv to rearrange lunch she headed for real estate office.

Finding an apartment was easier than Alex thought it would be, arranging to her the movers come on Friday. She texted Casey a 'Good Luck' message for court and then began to replay the thing's Abbie had said, she realised the Texan was right she hadn't given Poppy time to heal or an explanation. She decided to call her and see if they could talk, agreeing they arranged to meet at the house at four.

Hearing Poppy's key in the door just before four she began to feel nervous, "Hi, you okay?"

Studying Alex, Poppy knew she was nervous and wondered what was going on, she had tried to call Abbie several times throughout the day after Serena text her and told her what had happened in the office but each time she got no reply and was becoming worried. "I'm fine, are you?"

"Yeah, I have a week off so I found an apartment and the movers are coming Friday. I wanted to talk, I owe you an explanation and more apologies than I will ever be able to give. Poppy none of this is your fault."

"Alex being suspended isn't a week off and save the platitudes, your not giving a closing argument. Just tell me what it is you want to talk about."

"Sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I love you and I always will, your amazing, smart, beautiful and far too good for me..."

"Then why did you cheat?"

"I can't explain it, Casey walked into my office and the world shifted. I have never believed in love at first sight yet that's the only way I can describe it. It was never about not loving you and I will forever be sorry for the hurt I caused you. I just hope that one day you can forgive me."

"I already told you, that hating you isn't an option I wish it was but we are going to be parents and hurting you will only hurt Ruby. That being said I need some time to hate you and find me again and you busting into my hotel room calling me a whore isn't the way to fix this. I never cheated on you nor was I tempted."

"I know, i'm sorry I guess it bruised my ego to see you and Abbie like that. If she makes you happy then I won't stand in the way. I want you to be happy."

"Thank you Alex, Abbie won't even talk to me at the moment although I gather she had a lot to say to you. Just give it time and except that at times I am going to hate you and we will get to the point we can be friends, there is no alternative here Alex."

The two talked until late into the evening and Alex promised to make things right with Abbie as well. Agreeing to meet at the doctors office on Thursday, Poppy left heading for the hotel deciding to stop by Abbie's apartment on the way.

Knocking on the door, she took the time to organise her thoughts, hearing the door open she smiled at Abbie "Hi Slugger, you've been avoiding me. Can I come in?"

Stepping aside to allow the shorter woman past she gave a shy grin "Oh, you heard about that."

Pulling Abbie into a tight hug she whispered "Thank you. Alex called and we talked."

"Anything for you." replied Abbie pressing a kiss to Poppy's forehead.

"I ought to get back to the hotel, I don't have the stamina for all night partying anymore. Want to join me? We can watch Bond movies, eat junk and relax?"

"Sounds like a plan, let me get packed."

Relaxing on the bed watching movies Poppy realised the that this was the lightest she had felt and whilst it would take time to heal she no longer felt alone. "Abbie?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Thank you for everything, you're a good friend. Once thing's have settled down if you're still single would you maybe go on a date with me?"

"I would love to. Take all the time you need i'm willing to wait." Grinning Poppy cuddled into Abbie's side and was soon asleep.

Not long after Poppy had left Alex decided to call Casey, "Hi you okay? I was missing you and wanted to hear your voice."

"Well hello to you too smooth talker." laughed Casey.

Spending over an hour on the phone talking and laughing Alex sent Abbie a text asking to meet for coffee the following day, before falling asleep hoping tomorrow would be better and Poppy was right about things working out in time.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N thank you for all the support for this story.

Three weeks later,

It had been three weeks since Alex had moved into her apartment, things between her and Poppy had improved. There were times when things between them were as if nothing had changed they laughed and joked enjoying the easy banter they had shared since their first meeting. Then there were times they couldn't even be in the same room without hurtful words being exchanged. She understood Poppy's anger and took it knowing that these things needed to be said in order for them to heal and move on.

The only thing they never argued about was Ruby, no matter how angry Poppy was she never tried to shut Alex out. Inviting her to every doctors appointment, scan and birthing class. They discussed names, god parents and organised the paperwork allowing Alex to make medical decisions for both Poppy and Ruby. Agreeing as her due date got closer Alex could stay at the house and for a while after Ruby was born providing she behaved herself.

Things between the squad and Casey had thawed and Liv had even invited Casey out for drinks with them several times. As for Abbie she and Alex had talked and although things were still a little strained they had improved greatly. Alex and Casey had gone for lunch several times and even for a drink after work with the detective's to celebrate or commiserate cases. The more time they spent together the deeper Alex's feelings became. Deciding that she was going to ask Casey on a proper date this weekend Alex set her plan in motion, hoping she had done enough to convince the redhead of her true feelings.

Walking into her office on Friday after spending the morning in meetings Casey was shivering the icy rain seemed to have seeped through to her bones and she was looking forward to the weekend. Flicking on the lights she saw three vases of flowers on her desk, the first held a dozen yellow roses, the second a dozen red tulips and the third a dozen tiger lilies. Walking around to her chair she noticed there was also a single red rose with a note attached, sitting down she opened the envelope recognising Alex's distinctive script she felt her heart rate increase.

Casey,  
I'm not sure if you are familiar with the meanings of these flowers, for me they express my feelings for you better than I can. Each arrangement contains a card and I hope once you have read them you will agree to go out for dinner with me Saturday evening?  
Love Alex. X

Smiling she opened the envelope in the roses first.

Casey,  
Yellow roses symbolise friendship, the friendship we share might not have followed an easy path but it has come to mean a great deal to me. You have become a confident, some one unafraid to tell me when I'm out of line and some one who can make me smile on the darkest of days. Should you decide friendship is all you want from me then I will understand and continue to cherish it.  
Love, Alex x

Turning her attention to the tulips Casey couldn't help the wide smile that had broken out across her face or they way her heart was racing in anticipation about the other notes.

Casey,  
Red tulips are a declaration of love, a love that I attempted to ignore and deny hurting you and others in the process and for that I will forever be sorry. I read a quote recently that I think applies, "Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." I have no control over the way you make me feel, your smile gives me butterflies, the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh makes my heart skip a beat and the smell of your perfume has the ability to ground me. I love you Casey.  
Alex xx

Blinking back the tears she reached for the card nestled in the lilies,

Casey,  
So to the tiger lilies and their meaning, they mean I dare you to love me.  
Love Alex. xx

Rereading the cards Casey was caught up in her thoughts, Alex had hurt her but she understood it was more from a place of fear than indifference to Casey's feelings. She knew things were going to be difficult and their relationship would be unconventional considering Alex would be a mother in just under two months. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the knock on her door and jumped when Liv poked her head around the door.

"Hi, Case you have a minute?" Asked the detective.

"Sure, what's up?"

"We need a warrant for the Ross case." Explaining what they had and what they needed Casey went in search of Judge Petrovsky. Returning she noticed the detective studying the flowers.

"Here you go all signed. Good luck."

"Thanks Case, look I'm sorry I was such a bitch about you and Alex. You only have to spend time with the two of you to know there is something special between you."

"Thanks Liv, I understand you were just looking out for your friend. Alex asked me on a date Saturday." Confided the redhead. "I'm frightened I love Alex I have since we first met, but..."

"Your worried about Poppy and Ruby?" Guessed Liv. "Poppy would never shut Alex out of Ruby's life, she is far to loyal and decent to do that and Case I've seen you with kids your a natural."

"What if I fall more in love with her and then she decides it was just a fling and she wants to go back to Poppy. I'm not sure my heart could take it."

"She loves you Casey. She has fought for you, she risked the wrath of her family and the squad. She and Poppy will always be parents and will probably always love each other because of that bond, but as long as you can accept that and support Alex as a mother and the trials that come with that you will be fine. She loves you Casey now give her a chance to prove it to you." Smiling at the younger woman Liv headed out of the office, seeing Alex in her office she poked her head around the door.

"Hey Casanova." Laughing at the expression on the blondes face she added "The flowers were beautiful."

Giving her friend a smile she asked "Thanks Liv, did you need me for something?"

"Nope, all sorted by the hottie in the next office." Winking she added "See you for drinks later?"

Laughing at her friend she replied "I can't me and Poppy have Lamaze class."

"Oh well enjoy! I'll see you Monday unless we need you before. Have a good weekend."

Twenty minutes after Liv had left Casey still hadn't replied to Alex's offer or dinner, she knew she had the flowers and as more time passed she was becoming more anxious. Attempting to focus on her work she gave up after an hour, having read the same line three times, throwing her pen down in frustration she decided to be bold and go see the woman haunting her thoughts. Seeing the office in darkness she was disappointed, sending Casey a text she went back to work before deciding to leave early giving her time to stop and pick up some of the sweets Poppy had been craving before meeting her at Lamaze class.

Lamaze class,  
Pulling into the parking lot she saw Poppy sitting in her car absorbed in a book, smiling she walked over knocking gently on the window making the woman jump, holding up the bag of sweets as a peace offering.

Handing over the sweets and excepting the offered hug she said "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you jump. What are you reading?"

Laughing Poppy held up the book up for Alex to see, "'The Woman in Black.' I blame Carmichael she refuses to let me watch the film unless I have read the book."

Smiling at the look of happiness on her ex-wife's have she said "Sounds like something she would do. How are you getting along?"

"Really were discussing 'dating'" using her fingers to make air quotes.

"Okay maybe not, I just want to make sure you're happy. That's all."

"I am, it's not exactly how I imagined my life going but all things considered I'm doing okay. How about you and Casey?"

"I'm not sure, I tried being her friend letting things settle down before even considering a romantic relationship. You were right we all needed time to heal and gain closure, then today I decided to ask her out for dinner. I sent flowers, I made sure they had the right meanings and colours and wrote little notes telling her how I felt about her and asked her on a date, but she hasn't got back to me...I'm sorry I shouldn't be telling you all this."

"Alex, calm down it's okay." As she said that she realised it really was okay, hearing Alex talk about Casey no longer felt like a knife to the heart. "I don't think it's as simple as that for Casey, you have to remember that if you start dating she isn't just getting you. There is an ex-wife and a baby to consider."

Nodding Alex was once again amazed at the woman before her. "I guess I never really though of that. Thank you."

After class they spent a few minutes talking, feeling the baby kick Poppy placed Alex's hand on her bump to let her feel it. "Your daughter is either going to be a trampoliner or a soccer player."

"No I told you, with all the lawyers and judges in her life she is going to be a lawyer, she is just practicing her pacing."

Sharing a hug they went there separate ways, just as Alex was getting into bed she heard her phone ring, recognising Casey's ringtone she quickly sat up and answered it, "Hi, I was getting worried. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's fine, I didn't mean to worry you. Thank you for the flowers and the notes, they meant a lot. I just wanted some time to think before excepting your invitation to dinner."

Hearing the smile in Casey's voice Alex felt herself relax. "I was talks to Poppy earlier and she made me realise just how much you would be taking on my being in a relationship with me. I want you to know that I understand and although things might not be easy all the time, I'm serious about you."

"Thank you Alex, I guess I was a little worried, especially with you about to have a baby, but I want to give us a try. We will both make mistakes but if we communicate we will be fine."

"I understand that and I promise to listen to any concerns you have and talk to you about my fears. Now I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow if that's okay?"

"That's fine, what should I wear?"

"Something warm and comfortable. That's all I'm saying. See you tomorrow Case." Smiling as she hung up, it took Alex a few hours to fall asleep she was so excited about her date with Casey the following evening.

Getting home from Lamaze class, Poppy wasn't surprised to see Abbie's car in her drive, since the weekend in the hotel it had become common place to spend the weekends together watching movies, talking and sharing several kisses. Feeling the familiar flutter of butterflies in her stomach at seeing the brunette she decided to take her courage in her hands and ask Abbie on a proper date.

"Hi Honey, I'm home." She called shrugging off her coat and shoes.

"Hi, I hope you don't mind I let myself in and took a shower, there is no heating or hot water in my apartment."

Leaning in to press a gentle kiss against Abbie's lips Poppy replied "you're always welcome here. I wanted to ask you something." See in Abbie smile and nod she asked "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow. I know me being pregnant isn't ideal but..."

She was cut off by the brunette pressing a firm kiss to her mouth, "I would love to."

Spending the rest of the evening watching re-runs if the Big Bang Theory, Poppy felt excited for the future.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N thank you for all the reviews and messages your support amazes me. I hope you enjoy. Also for Lexi Alex and Abbie talk.

Waking up just before seven Saturday morning Alex was excited for her date with the redhead, pulling up the message screen on her phone she sent Casey a text, 'Good morning beautiful, I can't wait to see you later. Xx'

Getting out of bed she decided to go for a run in an attempt to work off some of her nervous energy after getting ready she saw she had a reply from Casey, 'Why are you awake so early! It's the weekend. I'm looking forward to tonight, where did you say we were going again? Xx'

Laughing at the Redheads attempt to find out what Alex had planned she sent a reply, 'Its almost nine lazy bones! You will just have to wait and '

Putting in her headphones she ran in the direction of Central Park, the beat of the music and the pounding of her feet allowed her mind to wonder. Running through a checklist of things she needed for her date this evening she was so engrossed she didn't notice the person who was bent down I front of her tying their laces until they collided.

"Abbie?"

"What the hell! Alex?" Asked the confused Texan who found herself dumped on the floor, through the force of the collision.

Holding out her hand to help the other woman up off the ground, biting back a laugh at the disgruntled look on her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you until it was too late. Are you hurt?"

Stretching out her limbs Abbie replied "No I'm good. You?"

"I'm fine, you took the brunt of the fall. Can I buy you a coffee to make it up to you? Maybe we can talk? I miss my friend even if that friend is you."  
Nodding her head the two walked in silence to the nearest coffee shop, after ordering Alex studied her friend knowing this was the last fence she needed to mend. Studying her friend she could tell that she was going to have to work for it.

"Abbie, I know your still pissed with me for hurting Poppy so much and especially for my behaviour in her hotel room, but if she can forgive me. Why are you still holding a grudge?"

Taking a sip of her coffee Abbie considered the question "You didn't see how hurt she was, when you left she literally cried herself to sleep thinking it was her fault, that she wasn't good enough. Do you have any idea what it's like to watch someone you care about hurting? And there is nothing you can do or say to make it better? Especially when the person hurting her is the person who should have been fighting to protect her."

"I didn't mean it hurt Poppy, it was never my intention."

"It might not have been your intention to hurt her but you did."

"You have to believe me I will never forgive myself for hurting her." Said Alex her voice full of sincerity.

"I do Alex, but intended or not you did. You have to live with that not me, but I meant what I said, you ever make her cry like that again and I will kick your ass."

Leaning forward placing her hand on Abbie's arm Alex nodded, "I appreciate that and by the same token if you hurt her I will kick your ass!"

"I promise I won't hurt her." Giving a small chuckle the Texan added "There is no way you can kick my ass Cabot, what do you know about getting your hands dirty?."

"True, but I can afford to pay someone to do it for me." Threatened Alex using her best snooty society voice.

Laughing Abbie agreed and they spent the next hour catching up, Alex headed home to take a long bath and get ready for her date. After her bath she tried on several outfits before settling on dark jeans, biker boots knowing flats would be best for what she had planned, and a cashmere jumper. Leaving her hair down she applied a light amount of make up.

Leaving early to make sure she had time to pick up Casey's gift, pulling up outside the bakery she collected her 'Bouquet of Cookies' before arriving at the redheads apartment just before seven. Feeling as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest Alex took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

Hearing the door open Alex felt her breath leave her as she took in the beauty before her Casey was wearing a sea green jumper, with dark jeans and knee high boots, her hair was loosely curled and with darker eyeliner that she wore for work her eyes seemed even brighter.

"Hi, you look beautiful." Shaking her head slightly to clear it she added "these are for you. I figured you probably had enough flowers."

Smiling at the gesture Casey tilted her head, indicating Alex should come in. "Hi, you look wonderful. Thank you for these, I love cookies. I just need to grab my coat and I'm ready to go. Unless we have time for a drink?"

"I know, I'm sometimes worried your made of caffeine and sugar." Laughed Alex, feeling herself start to relax. "We should probably get going."

Throughout the short drive they shared easy banter with Casey laughing at Alex's ecliptic mix of music on her iPod, "How can you go from Metallica to Mozart?"

"It depends on my mood, if I'm getting ready for court I like metal to pump me up, if I'm too hyped up I need classical and if I'm in a bad mood nothing beats screaming to the lyrics of Aerosmith."

Pulling up at the batting cages Alex began to feel nervous again, she put a lot of thought into their evening and hoped it would be a night to remember for both of them and the start of a relationship. She hoped Casey would enjoy a more active evening rather than going to a restaurant or the theatre.

"The batting cages? I didn't have you down as the 'softball' type." Asked Casey grinning at Alex.

"I wanted an evening that showed you how much I know you, that I listen and I love the person you are. So I thought you would enjoy this more than a restaurant. Is it okay?" Asked Alex feeling uncertain.

Placing her hand on the blondes arm Casey replied "It's brilliant thank you Alex. Come on let me show you how it's done."

Getting out of the car Alex let out the breath she had been holding at the look of genuine happiness on her dates face. After collecting their equipment, Casey spent half an hour showing Alex what to do and how to stand. Watching as the redhead hit ball after ball Alex was enthralled by the way her muscles moved, the smile on her face and the confidence in her powerful swing.

Deciding to have a hot drink before letting Alex loose in the cage, they shared more easy conversation, discussing the flowers Alex had sent, Abbie and Alex's 'run in' that morning and romance between Kim and Serena which divided them. Alex thought it was sweet that Serena's bubbly nature balanced out Kim's acidic side. Whilst Casey declared it was just plain wrong.

After finishing their drinks Alex was up to bat, "Right okay I've got this." said Alex taking the pose Casey had showed her, however, ball after ball whizzed past.

Becoming frustrated she turned to glare at the laughing redhead who was holding her phone up to video the blondes failure. As their eyes met Alex became captivated by the sparkle in the green eyes. Drowning in the look of amusement and love reflected in the , the moment was broken when a ball hit Alex on the side of the head sending her to the ground.

Rushing to turn off the ball machine Casey was at Alex's side in seconds. "Steady. Just take it slowly." Said Casey gently helping Alex into a sitting position.

"Ouch! I hate sport!" Moaned Alex leaning against Casey as she sat up. "That hurt."

"Are you okay? Any double vision or blood?" Asked Casey, checking Alex over, wincing at the already forming bruise. "That's going to be a pretty colour by Monday. Let me go get you some ice"

Whilst waiting for Casey to come back with the ice Alex headed to the bench, gingerly pressing her finger to the bruise. Swallowing down her disappointment that the evening wasn't going the way she planned. Feeling the redhead return and gently press the ice pack to her face, "I'm sorry, I guess I ruined the evening. You can go finish the session if you want?"

"Alex look at me." Waiting until the blonde was looking at her she gently pressed her lips to Alex's. "I'm happy just sitting here with you, all I need for this to be a perfect evening is your company."

Leaning into Casey's embrace Alex gave a small smile. "I guess you won't be recruiting me for the soft ball team."

"We always need a mascot!" Laughing at the horrified look on the blondes face Casey leaned in and pressed another kiss to her mouth, moaning when she felt Alex deepen the kiss. "Wow!"

"Wow yourself. How about we get out of here and go get some dinner?"

"Sounds good. Can I drive?" Asked Casey with a cheeky grin at the blonde "your reactions might be sluggish as you attempted to head-but a home run."

Glaring at the younger woman, she thought for a moment before throwing Casey the key's. Laughing at the look of shock and excitement on the redheads face she climbed into the passenger side. Once in the car they decided to head back to Casey's apartment and get takeout rather than go out to eat.

Settling down with their Chinese takeout, the two shared stories of their childhood, ambitions for the future, places they wanted to visit and kisses. Before with of them realised it was almost midnight. Sighing Alex stood up and stretched, "I should head home, it's getting late."

"Are you okay to drive?" Asked Casey.

"I'm fine I only had one glass of wine. Thank you for a wonderful evening." Pulling Casey close they shared a slow kiss, before Casey walked Alex to the door.

"I should be the one thanking you. Will you text me when you get home?"

Agreeing that she would text the two shared another kiss before Alex turned to leave. Arriving home she sent Casey a text, 'I'm home, thank you for a wonderful evening. I'm sorry it wasn't exactly as I planned. No sport next time.'

Smiling when she received an instant reply, 'I had a wonderful time, it was a wonderful evening. I love your car! How about I plan out next date?'

Grinning she sent a reply 'As long as it doesn't require me to wear a crash hat I'm in. My poor car might never recover from your driving! Good night Case. Xx'

After brushing her teeth and getting into bed Alex saw Casey had replied 'Don't be jealous because it loves me more than it loves you! Good night Alex. Sweet dreams.'

Sunday afternoon Casey was woken from her nap by a knock on the door, stretching she walked to the door and frowned when she looked through the peep hole and saw no one. Opening the door she saw a neatly wrapped box sitting in front of a cup of coffee and a bag from her favourite coffee shop.

Looking along the corridor didn't see anyone, recognising Alex's hand writing she closed the door, walking to the coffee table she took a sip of the coffee moaning at the taste, before opening the attached note.

Casey,  
Thank you for last night. I hope this makes you smile.  
Love,  
Alex. Xx

Turning her attention to the box she unwrapped it finding a model replica of Alex's car and a baseball in a clear box. Realising it was the ball that had hit Alex Casey gave a smile, under the ball was a silver plate engraved on which the words "Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always" and the previous days date were engraved. Grinning like a fool she placed the ball in pride of place on her shelf with a the first foul ball she had caught and the ball she won as MVP in her first match with SVU. Returning to her seat on her sofa with her coffee Casey began to plan a date for the two of them, knowing it needed to be as special as the one they had already shared.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N I cant believe this has so many reviews! You guys rock.

Monday morning dawned grey and cold, despite the dull weather outside her window Alex's mood was buoyant. After delivering Casey's surprise yesterday afternoon, the redhead had called and they had spent three hours on the phone, before texting each other into the early hours of the morning. Never running out of things to talk about or stories to share, by the time she fell asleep Alex knew that without doubt she was in love with Casey.

After her shower Alex set about getting dressed for the day, picking a black pant suit with a green silk blouse because it reminded her of Casey's eyes. Despite a heavy coating of make up however, there was little she could do it hide the bruise on her cheek. She knew Liv, Casey and Abbie would have a field day teasing her about it, she groaned when she remembered the redhead probably had the whole thing on video.

Pulling up the message screen on her phone she decided to see if she could bribe the redhead to delete the video and come up with a less embarrassing story for the bruise. 'Good morning beautiful, what would it take to lose the 'head-but home run' video? Xx'

Making herself a cup of coffee and a bagel, Alex was watching the news when her phone chimed. 'Good morning headbanger, there isn't enough coffee or sugar in the world to make me delete the '

Chuckling at being called 'headbanger' Alex resigned herself to the teasing she was going to receive from her friends. Heading into the office the first thing Alex noticed was that the name plate on her door had been changed from 'Alexandra Cabot' to 'Headbanger Cabot'. Groaning she removed the sticker and let herself into her office, finding a cup of coffee waiting in her desk, with an application to be SVU softball mascot.

Taking a sip of the coffee Alex smiled at the form, she was almost tempted to fill it in just to see the look on Casey's face. Putting the form aside she turned her attention to the file she needed to read through before court. After half an hour of reading there was a knock on her office door, calling out a 'come in.' She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the sight of Casey, "Hi, thanks for the coffee, the new name plate and the mascot form. It's a good job your cute or I might go off you."

"Cute? Really? Not devastatingly delectable? I must be losing my touch." Smirked the redhead. "How is the face? It looks sore?"

"It's not too bad, unless a certain devastatingly delectable redhead makes me smile so wide my entire face hurts." Said Alex with a face aching grin.

"Well maybe that redhead should kiss it better?" Asked Casey walking around the desk leaning in placing a soft kiss on the bruised cheek, before trailing several kisses along the blondes jaw before kissing Alex on the lips, drawing her close by tangling her hand in the blondes locks she deepened the kiss, before breaking it she presses their foreheads together. "Better?"

"Much Better, thank you darling."

Smiling at Alex's use of a pet name Casey turned their attention back to professional matters "Now, what's on the cards for court today?" Spending the next hour going through their open cases as they did every Monday, they decided to go for lunch before they were due in court.

Once they were out of the office Alex reached out and joined their hands together giving Casey a reassuring smile as they walked towards there favourite deli. Seeing Amanda and Liv walking out as they went in Alex received much teasing over her bruise and the accompanying video. After their friends had left and Alex had stopped pouting about the video they enjoyed a lunch filled with laughter and banter.  
Sitting at a table in the back Alex broached the subject of declaring their relationship to Liz, "I know we have only been on one date, but I also know I have deep feelings for you."

Biting her lip Casey nodded "I know and I feel the same, it's just Liz is kind of scary and after everything with Poppy. I can't help but feel she will not take the news well."

"Case, look at me." Once the redhead had looked up Alex continued "She will be fine, she is the one who told me and I quote 'Check my ego and fight for you.' So while she might not approve of how our relationship started she will support it."

"Okay, we can do it this afternoon." Said Casey still sounding afraid.

"I can tell her alone if you want?" Offered Alex.

"No, we're in this together. We should be heading for court." Paying the bill the two walked to court, after winning their motion they headed back to the office. Putting their bags and coats in their office they headed to Liz's office.

Looking at at Casey, Alex asked "Ready?" Seeing Casey nod she knocked on the door hearing permission to enter she took a deep breath, praying Liz wouldn't make them suffer too much.

Looking up at her visitors Liz couldn't help the wicked grin that crossed her face, she was going to enjoy this "Casey, headbanger. What can I do for you?"

Groaning Alex gave her godmother her best glare before sitting down she came straight to the point, for as much as she had reassured Casey Liz would be supportive she was as nervous as her the younger woman. "Liz we need to declare our relationship."

Sitting back in her chair and studying the two woman opposite her, she had spoken to Poppy and knew she supported Alex and she could tell that Casey had feelings for Alex. "Okay, I will make a note of it, but I warn you know if your private life comes into the office you will both be reassigned to the backend of beyond, do you understand me?" Seeing them nod she went on "professional matter aside I'm happy for you both, I know it's not been an easy road. Promise me you will be good to each other?"

Replying on the affirmative both women left the office and headed to Alex's office breathing a sigh of relief as she shut the door she pulled Casey in for a gentle kiss. "Why don't you come over tonight, I'll cook and we can relax?"

Before Casey had chance to reply Alex's phone began to ring groaning Alex gave Casey a small smile, "Rain check?" Seeing Casey nod she answered her phone confirming that both she and Casey would be at the station in twenty minutes.

Thanks to the case that had come in on Monday, their already heavy case load and other commitments it was Friday lunchtime before Casey had chance to ask Alex on a date the following day. Knocking on the blondes office door Casey felt nervous, she knew the blonde wasn't going to turn her down but at the same time she was worried the date she had planned wasn't going to be as special as the one Alex had arranged. Hearing Alex call out for her to come in she shook off her doubts and headed into the office.

"Hi, you have a minute?" Seeing Alex put down her her and nod she entered and took a seat opposite the blonde. "You look tired, are you okay?"

Smiling at the concern in the red heads voice "I am now, Franks took a plea and I am not going to have to work all weekend."

"That's good because I was hoping we could go out tomorrow evening?"

"I would love to go out with you, what did you have in mind Miss Novak?" Asked Alex wearing a huge grin.

Standing and giving Alex a peck on the lips before turning to leave, looking over her shoulder, "It's a surprise, just be ready at four."

"Four in the afternoon, I was under the impression you didn't get up until then on a Saturday? What should I wear?"

"Funny! Casual is fine, make sure you wrap up warm and bring an overnight bag. I'm heading out. Night."

With that the redhead was gone leaving Alex to puzzle over the plans for the next day. Arriving home there was a large box outside her door, recognising Casey's untidy scrawl she smiled as she placed the box on the table. Opening the note she read,

Alex,  
These might come in handy for tomorrow evening.  
Love,  
Casey xx

Excited Alex oped the box, her excitement turning to confusion when she saw the thermal underwear and heavy gloves, hat and a thermal sleeping bag. At the bottom of the box was another envelope opening it she saw a spa voucher for a massage, the following morning attached was a sticky memo note that read, Alex, you looked worn out. I hope this helps you relax before outer date. Xx  
Smiling at the thoughtfulness of the redhead, she was still puzzled by the thermal underwear. What on earth did Casey have planned?

After her massage the following day Alex was feeling very relaxed until she got home and remembered the thermal underwear required for her date that night. She had tried several times to bribe Casey into telling her where they were going, offering to buy coffee for a month, do all the paper work and even resorting to threatening transferring out and leaving Casey with Kim. All to no avail, and so here she was at four on a Saturday afternoon wearing thermal underwear waiting for her date to arrive.

Hearing a knock at the door she was greeted by the sight of Casey, in tight jeans, hiking boots and a warm looking fleecy jumper. Leaning in to give Alex a gentle kiss on the mouth she pulled back and asked "Hi, you ready?"

"I just need by bag and coat. Are you going to tell me where we are going now?"

Picking up Alex's bag, Casey shook her head. Once Alex had locked her door the joined hands and walked down to Casey's car. Putting Alex's bag and jacket in the boot they pulled out into traffic as they drove out of the city Casey noticed Alex kept checking her phone, "Alex, relax if you don't like what I have planned we don't have to stay."

"It's not that, I'm sure it will be amazing. I'm just worried that if Poppy needs me she wont be able to get on touch. Sorry I know talking about my ex-wife on a date is bad form, it's just with her due date getting closer and the complications she had before...I'm sorry."

"Alex it's fine, I love that you care so much about your baby and that you and Poppy have a good relationship, I spoke to her and told her you might be out of range for a few hours whilst we travel but when we arrive it will be fine."  
Feeling herself relax Alex was amazed at Casey's understanding and thoughtfulness. "Thank you, not many people would think to do that. Your amazing."

Reaching over and taking Alex's hand Casey smiled at her "I love you Alex and whilst it was a little awkward with Poppy, it will get better. I would never make you choose between me and them, I understand that you will always love Poppy on some level and I'm okay with that."

"I love you too, Casey."

After spending three hours driving Casey pulled into what looked like a campsite, looking confused Alex asked "we're camping?"

Giving a laugh at the look on the blondes face, Casey took pity on her. "Not exactly, when we talked the other night you said that before you wanted to be a lawyer you wanted to work for NASA studying the stars. When I was thinking about a perfect date I saw that there was going to be a meteor shower tonight and this is the best place to view it from. So I came up earlier and hired a tent, it has a heater and even a toilet and sink. I hope it's okay?"

"It's perfect, thank you."

Heading for their tent they unpacked and ate the food Casey had brought, laying on a blanket watching the stars with the woman she love Alex didn't think life could get any better.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N a little smut, them back to the angst. Also, it's a little similar to a storyline on the show but it will deviate LOTS. I'm really nervous about this chapter so be nice.

As they were getting ready for bed Alex began to feel nervous, since they had started dating they had shared a few heavy make out sessions but it had never gone further than that. She knew it was strange to be nervous of sleeping with someone for a second time, yet that was the state Alex found herself in. As she brushed her teeth she sneaked a glance at the redhead who was already in bed snuggled under their blankets looking beautiful and totally relaxed.

Feeling Alex's scrutiny Casey gave a smile guessing what was troubling the blonde, "If you brush much longer they will wear away."

Returning the smile Alex replied, "Sorry I was miles away." Putting her toothbrush away she slipped off her jacket and got into bed leaving a small gap between them.

After about ten minutes of silence Alex was sure Casey had fallen asleep, turning over to face her she was surprised to find the green eyes she loved so much staring at her. "Al, what's wrong? Why are you all the way over there?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Giving a small chuckle she went on. "It's stupid really, it's not like we haven't slept together before, it's just..."

"You want it to be special. To mean something?" Said Casey in a gentle tone.

Relieved Casey understood Alex began to relax "Exactly, I want you to know just how much I love and respect you."

"Come here." Pulling Alex so their bodies were pressed together. Pressing a kiss to Alex's lips a kiss full of passion, want and love. Rolling them so Alex was beneath her she reached up and tangled her finger in the long blondes hair deepening the kiss.

Moaning into the kiss Alex ran her hands under the redheads shirt, causing the younger woman to gasp an the contact and begin to grind down against her. Dragging her nails down Casey's spin she flipped them over so she was above Casey, staring down at the woman beneath her she whispered, "You are so beautiful. Let me make love to you?"

Seeing Casey nod, she lent down claiming her lips in a gentle kiss before trailing kisses down across Casey's jaw and throat. Gently nipping the pale skin with teeth then soothing it with her tongue. Slipping her hands under Casey shirt she lifted it over Casey's head before leaning down to remove her sleep pants. Before removing her own and pressing their bodies together causing them both to moan at the skin to skin contact.

Once again claiming the redheads lips in a heated kiss Alex let her hands roam all over Casey's exquisite body. Trailing kisses down she took a staining nipple into her waiting mouth flicking it with her tongue, before placing butterfly kisses across to the other nipple.

As she began to kiss her way down her lovers body she felt a tug on her hair, "I want to see you, I want us to come together."

Nodding she positioned herself above the younger woman, running her fingers through the gathered wetness Casey whimpered feeling the blonde enter as she entered the blonde. Rocking their bodies together it didn't take long for them both to come screaming the others name.

Flipping them over Alex found herself pinned beneath Casey, moaning as she felt the redhead placing open mouthed kisses down her body. Reaching her destination Casey ran her tongue through the waiting wetness, purring at the taste and began to flick her tongue against Alex's already sensitive clit, before sucking it into her mouth, entering the blonde with two fingers, curling them it took just a few thrusts for Alex to cum.

Before Casey had chance to move Alex pulled her up towards her mouth. Seeing what Alex had in mind Casey shivered with anticipation, lowering her throbbing centre onto the blonde waiting mouth, she began to roll her hips pinching her hard nipples between her thumb and finger, the joint sensations causing her to cum hard, chanting Alex's name as if it was a prayer.

"Wow! I have never...that was...wow." Mumbled Casey.

"I agree, you are amazing. That tongue of yours is amazing." Panted Alex attempting to regain her composure.

"Right back at ya Cabot." Mumble Casey fighting sleep.

Pulling Casey close Alex whispered "I love you.".

"I love you too Alex."

The two were soon asleep wrapped together. Waking up early the next morning they reaffirmed their love twice more before packing up to leave. When they returned Sunday afternoon Alex collected clothing for the next day and the two headed back to Casey's apartment spending the evening watching movies and the night making love.

Heading into work the next day Alex couldn't keep the smile off her face, even though Liz, Abbie and Casey insisted on calling her headbanger during their weekly meeting and the squad had brought her a crash hat with the name Headbanger painted on the side.

Three weeks later,  
In the three weeks since their camping trip Casey and Alex had only spent one night apart, they spent most nights at Casey's apartment their relationship growing stronger each day. Things with Poppy had improved greatly and Casey had even had coffee with the doctor a few times. Abbie and Poppy had been on several dates but had decided to take things slowly to make sure they didn't spoil their friendship which both agreed was the most important thing to both of them.

Leaving the office on the Wednesday afternoon to collect Poppy for their hospital appointment, Alex couldn't help but smile at the thought that her daughter was due in just three weeks, although she was nervous about becoming a mother she couldn't wait to meet her daughter.

Once they were in the car they exchanged small talk and discussed the subject of Alex moving back into the house to be there incase Poppy needed her in the middle of the night. Agreeing that she would move her stuff at the weekend, noticing Poppy playing with her necklace a nervous trait she had always had Alex asked "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing." Seeing Alex raise her eyebrow Poppy took a deep breath before blurting out "I just ask you don't have any overnight guests, I might be okay with you and Casey but I don't want to hear it or see it. I'm sorry."

"I understand completely. I just want to be there for you and Ruby, you will be my priority." Stopping at the traffic light Alex turned to study Poppy, "You seem happy."

"I am, I guess it sounds a strange thing to say given the situation but all things considered I am happy. Although I'm starting to get a little nervous now, but excited at the same time if that makes any sense? How about you? Are you happy Alex."

Pulling off Alex took a minute to form a reply, before she had chance to voice it a car came across the junction making no attempt to stop or slow down, hitting the side of Alex's car spinning it across the road until it came to rest against a taxi.

Turning to look at her passenger Alex saw the blood and screamed, "POPPY! Oh God please be okay."

Groaning the doctor turned her head to look at Alex "Al, you okay? Your head is bleeding. Any double vision?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. What about you?"asked Alex attempting to mask the panic in her voice.

"I'm...My stomach hurts." Doubling up the best she could as an intense pain tore through her. "Can you see if there is any blood?"

Running her hand over the shaking woman, it came away slick with blood, "Yes, oh god there's lots. What do I do?" Seeing Poppy's eyes close she called "Poppy, come on you have to stay awake for me. Please beautiful stay awake, keep looking at me."

"I'm tired, so tired." Feeling a light slap to the side of her face she roused slightly. "Put pressure on the wound."

After what seemed like forever but in reality was only a matter of minutes Poppy spoke again, "Alex, listen to me please. I'm losing too much blood, I think my lung is punctured breathing hurts. In about two minutes I'm going to pass out, what ever happens you have to keep my heart beating for Ruby. No matter what you have to save her."

"Stop talking like that! You will be fine both of you."said Alex, praying she was right.

Looking into the terrified eyes of her ex-wife she repeated "Alex..please just promise me you will save her. Please Alex."

"Stop it..." Yelled Alex in fear and frustration, blinking back the tears.

"Promise me." Said Poppy in a weak voice.

"I promise. I love you, you have to fight." Begged Alex.

"I love you too I always will. Promise me you won't push Casey away out of guilt or fear let her love you and Ruby. Tell Ruby I...I..."

Feeling Poppy's hand go limp in hers Alex screamed "Help us. Oh God somebody please help us." She sighed hearing sirens getting closer attempting to fight the darkness that was closing in.

A/N sorryish.


	17. Chapter 17

Office of Elizabeth Donnelly.  
Leaning back in her chair Liz studied the papers in front of her, she really ought to talk to Alex about her hand writing it was quiet unreadable in places. She was pulled from her musings when her cell phone began to ring.

"Hello."

"Hello is that Elizabeth Donnelley?"

"Yes" replied Liz sounding confused.

"My name is Anglia I'm calling from Memorial hospital. You are listed as emergency contact for Alexandra Cabot. I'm afraid there was an accident she is in stable condition but we need you to come down."

"What exactly happened? Was she alone?" Asked Liz remembering Alex had left early to take Poppy to the hospital.

"All I can tell you is a drunk driver ran a red light and hit her car. Miss Cabot has a head injury that required stitches and is currently unconscious. Her passenger is in theatre her condition is listed as critical I'm sorry that's all I can tell you."

"I'm on my way." Grabbing her purse and coat she rushed out of her office, heading for Casey's office hoping the woman wasn't in court, she knew Alex would need Casey when she woke up. Saying a prayer for her god daughter, for Poppy and for Ruby as she rushed through the door she saw Casey in conversation with Olivia Benson.

"Liz? What's wrong?"asked Casey jumping at the sudden intrusion.

"Casey there's been an accident we need to go to the hospital. Detective could you drive? Lights and sirens all the way I will clear it if there is any backlash." Asked Liz relieved that she wasn't going to have to drive.

"Let's go." Replied Liv immediately grabbing her car keys and phone informing her captain what was going on. Hanging up she saw Casey had yet to move, softening her voice she called the red heads name several time. "Case, come on Alex needs you."

Nodding Casey stood up and followed the two woman out of her office, locking her door and pulling on her jacket with robotic like movements, her mind racing at the thought she might lose the woman she loved? Arriving at the hospital in record time thanks to Liv's driving, they rushed to reception.

"Hello, we're looking for Alexandra Cabot and Poppy Kane." Said Liz her voice full of authority.

"Miss Cabot is in room 127. Dr Kane is still in theatre, I will have a doctor come and give you an update as soon as possible." Replied the nurse without question, she was a friend of Poppy's and knew who these people were, she had seen Poppy when she was brought in and knew the situation was grave.

"Casey go to Alex, I will be up as soon as I have an up date on her girls and have rung her parents." Seeing Casey nod and turn to leave Liz addressed the detective. "Liv could you ring Carmichael please? Poppy would want her to know."

Shaking her head she replied "Amanda went to tell her and is going to drive her and Serena in. I'll wait with you."

Room of Alexandra Cabot.  
Walking in Casey was shocked at how pale and still Alex was swallowing down her fear she approached the bed and gently took the blondes hand in hers. "Oh Al, please wake up darling, I love you so much. I need you, Ruby needs you and Poppy needs you."

About twenty minutes into her vigil Liz came in, "Poppy is still in surgery, they are doing a C-section now, because the baby is in distress. They think even though she will be three weeks early she will be fine."

"What about Poppy?" Asked Casey afraid for the woman she had grown to like.

"Still critical. That's all they would tell me." Looking at her god daughter she said "I'm going back to the waiting room.I'll be back with an update as soon as I have one."

Spending an hour quietly sitting with Alex, Liz had returned once more to say Ruby had been safely delivered and was beautiful but there was still no update on Poppy. Seeing the blonde begin to stir she called her name several times, hoping she was starting to wake up. "Come in Al, open those beautiful blue eyes for me."

Hearing someone calling her name Alex struggled to open her eyes the pain in her head was intense and the light was too bright. Trying again she focused on the woman leaning over her, "Casey? Where am I? What happened?"

"Al, there was an accident. What do you remember?" Asked Casey gently.

"We were on our way to the hospital when a car...Poppy!" Trying to sit up a wave of nausea hit her and she slumped back against the pillows. "Casey please is Poppy okay? What about Ruby?"

Looking at the floor Casey swallowed the lump in her throat "The last I heard, Ruby was okay and according to Liz utterly beautiful she was delivered by C-section a little while ago. As for Poppy she was still in theatre. I'll go find a doctor." Squeezing Alex's hand she headed out of the room to find a doctor, hoping for good news.

She saw Liv, Amanda, Serena and Abbie in the waiting room, "Alex is awake, have they said anything about Poppy?"

"No, I'll go find someone, you go back to Alex." Said Amanda glad of something to do, afraid for her friends.

Returning to Alex's room, "Amanda is just going to find a doctor. How you feeling?"

"Frightened. She made me promise I would tell Ruby about her she was so calm, she can't die Case. Oh god Casey I can't lose her she has to be okay."

Pulling Alex in for a hug Casey understood her fear the two stayed like that until a doctor walked in, "Hello Alex, it's good to see you awake."

"Don't worry about me how are my daughter and..."

"Calm down, your daughter is fine she is in the Special Care Baby Unit just as a precaution as soon as I have run a few checks I will have you taken to see her."

"What about Poppy?" Insisted Alex.

"She is still in theatre as soon as your settled I will go and get another update." Giving a gentle smile she added "You know Poppy she is as strong as a ox and as stubborn as a mule."

It suddenly dawned on Casey that the reason all the staff had been so helpful and looked so worried was because this was Poppy's hospital they all knew her.

Running some checks the doctor cleared her to go and see Ruby under strict instructions not to overexert herself and to rest when she felt tired. He also informed her she would need to be kept in overnight for observation and Ruby would likely be kept in for a week or so just to make sure everything was okay.

Watching Alex get into the waiting wheelchair Casey pushed her towards the SCBU, she could sense the blondes fear. Wishing there was something she could do or say to make things better. Arriving they were shown into a room with a crib in, looking down at her beautiful daughter Alex was struck by how much she resembled Poppy with her dark hair that was until she opened her eyes. They were the shape and colour of Alex's eyes and although she knew that might change it was at that moment Alex knew she was hopelessly in love with her daughter.

"Would you like to hold her?" Asked the kindly nurse who's name Alex couldn't remember even though they had met several times. Unable to speak she simply nodded as her daughter was placed in her arms for the first time.

"Hi baby girl, I'm your mama." Looking up at Casey with tears in her eyes Alex added "Look at her Case she's perfect."

"Just like her mothers." Replied Casey marvelling at the small bundle in Alex's arms.

After spending two hours with Ruby, Alex was forced to go back to her room and rest. After making Liv and Abbie promise to stay with her daughter until she was back and Casey promise to take her back as soon as she had rested.

Settling back in her room, Alex couldn't keep her eyes off the pictures of her daughter Casey had taken with her cell phone. Hearing someone come in she recognised the doctor as a friend of Poppy's seeing the look of sadness in her eyes Alex began to cry.

"Please no." Said Alex fearing the worst.

"Alex please calm down, we are doing everything we can, but I wanted to come and personally give you an update. Poppy has lost a lot of blood, having to deliver Ruby added a complication but we have that under control now, she had a punctured lung and cuts and bruises. The next 24 hours are critical."

"What are her chances?" Asked Casey.

"I can't say I'm sorry. As I said the next 24 hours are critical, she is a fighter. I'll check back later."

"Melody, before you leave. Can I see her? Please?"

"I'll have someone take you down." Relied the doctor squeezing Alex's hand before leaving.

Half an hour later Alex was wheeled into Poppy's room, although she had been warned about the machinery and the extent of her injuries it still shocked Alex. Reaching out she gently took hold if Poppy's hand.

"Poppy you have to wake up, you have to fight our little girl needs you. She is beautiful she looks just like you apart from her eyes. Looking at her I wonder who she will take after personality wise, what she will want to be when she grows up, if she will like sports or prefer books and if she will hate coffee the way you do or love it like I do."

After spending an hour with Poppy she relinquished her position allowing Abbie to take over so she could go and be with Ruby for a while. The doctors allowed Alex to sleep in the room with Ruby, laying staring at the sleeping form of her daughter Alex prayed for Poppy offering everything she had in exchange for Poppy's life.

A/N please leave your thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N. I'm not sure this chapter is as good as it could be, anyway leave your thoughts.

The following morning the doctor came around to check on Alex, who was official discharged under strict instruction not to over do it and to try and get some rest. Ruby was as healthy as she could be considering the circumstances surrounding her birth and providing there was no complications she would be discharged by the weekend.

After feeding Ruby her breakfast and spending some time with her, Alex headed to Poppy's room leaving Casey with her daughter. She was relieved Casey seemed to be as enthralled by her daughter as she was, it made her love the redhead all that much more and lessened her worry about how their relationship would work once Ruby was born. She knew Casey would never ask her to choose between her or her family nor would she expect Alex to put her daughter second, but seeing the loving way she interacted with Ruby made her heart swell. They had even talked about Casey teaching her softball and her excitement at spending time with her.

Arriving at Poppy's room she was pleased to see Abbie was still there holding Poppy's hand it had worried Alex that Poppy would be alone whilst she was with Ruby. it was a testament to the strength of the brunette's feeling that she hadn't left Poppy's side. "Hi, how is she?"

"The doctor, Jenny I think her name was came in just now and said there was some improvement and that her condition had remained stable throughout the night. Which is a good thing. How's the little lady?"

"She's healthy as can be and so very cute, but then I may be biased." Giving a little laugh she added "If you want to go home and freshen up it will stay with Poppy for a while?"

"Standing up an stretching Abbie shook her head, "Rena is bringing me in some fresh clothing. Liz is picking you some stuff up then going to Poppy's for some of Ruby's things and Amanda is getting Casey some stuff. Kim is in charge of prosecuting the driver and Liv is going to court to give us a full report and shoot death stares at the idiot who hit you."

Blinking back tears at the kindness of her friends, Alex took a moment to compose herself before replying, "I really am lucky to have such amazing friends. I thought I would lose them all after everything with Casey."

"We might have been baffled and a little angry in my case, but we would never abandon you especially when you need us." Pulling the blonde in for a hug she added. "I really am in love with her you know?" Indicating Poppy with a tilt of her head before asking "Do you mind if I go see Ruby?"

"I can see that, I just want her to be happy. You can see Ruby anytime Casey is with her at the moment probably teaching her all about baseball poor child." Smiled Alex, once again struck my how loved her daughter was going to be. The only thing that would make it perfect would be for Poppy to wake up.

"I better go and start teaching her basketball is better, go Longhorns!" Laughed Abbie. Pressing a gentle kiss to Poppy's forehead before squeezing Alex's shoulder as she headed out of the room.

Sitting in the chair Abbie had vacated she took hold of Poppy's hand and began talking to her. "I always thought motherhood would mean less sleep then either of us are used to but look at you lounging in bed." Stroking Poppy's hair back from her face she continued. "Our little girl is amazing, she already has everybody wrapped round her little finger even Kim thinks she's 'cute for a baby'. Abbie and Casey are with her at the moment I dread to think what they are teaching her, I swear to you if her first word is the f bomb I will kill Carmichael and expect your help hiding the body."

Looking up as the door opened she saw Liz carrying what she recognised as her overnight bag and the bag they had prepared for when Poppy went into labour. "Hi, you do realise your boss just heard you planning a murder. Although I might be persuaded to turn a blind eye providing I get lots of cuddles from a certain little angel." Studying her god daughter she added "How are you?"

Smiling at her god mother Alex replied "You can cuddle Ruby all you want something tells me she won't want for love and affection. I'm okay they discharged me this morning so I fed Ruby and then came down to sit with Poppy."

"Southerlyn practically spirited up the stairs to see that daughter if yours, so I'm sure your right. Why don't you go freshen up and check that none of your crazy friends have stolen your daughter, whilst I sit with Poppy?"

"Liz, I need to arrange extra time off, there is no way Poppy is going to be in any shape to look after Ruby alone for a while. If that means I have to resign then so be it, but they are my priority from now on."

Holding up her hand to interrupt Alex Liz smiled, "Novak, Carmichael, Greyleck and Southerlyn have sorted it between them. They are each going to cover a week, that gives you six weeks in total including your two weeks parental leave. If after that you need any longer we will arrange something then. You have good friends Alex so just relax and concentrate on your family and that includes Casey."

"I will." After getting changed she headed up to her daughters room, standing outside she could hear her friends talking.

Recognising Casey's voice "She is going to play softball." Laughing as she heard Abbie reply "Nope Basket ball."

Walking in the door she saw her daughter nestled safely in Liv's arms, smiling at the look on Amanda's face watching her girlfriend with the baby. "She is far too young for any sport. Besides she can do anything she wants apart from join the army because mommy Poppy will have a heart attack if she does that."

"So is she going to be a doctor or lawyer?" Asked Serena.

"A lawyer." Laughed Alex before turning to address Kim, the only one not fawning over the little bundle now in Amanda's arms. "How was court?"

Looking slightly uncomfortable at being singled out by Alex Kim asked, "Nobody told you?"

"Told me what?" Demanded Alex, before looking at the others "Casey?"

Taking a deep breath it was Liv who replied, "Alex, it wasn't an accident caused by a drunk driver. Do you remember the Cooper case?"

"Yeah it was a rape and murder case, he got the death penalty. What's that got to do with anything?"

"The driver was his brother, he admitted he deliberately set out to hit you. We have him in custody and he will pay. McCoy is taking over as first chair and Kim will stay on as second, I promise Alex he is going to prison for a long time."

Slumping down Alex fought of the nausea building in her throat "Oh my God it's all my fault. If Poppy dies it's because of me."

Realising that Alex needed some time Amanda looked at Liv as she laid Ruby back in her crib, "We should probably get back to work." Abbie decided she would go check on Poppy, Serena and Kim needed to get back to the office.

Once everyone but Casey had left Alex let her tears fall. "It's all my fault."

"No Alex it isn't, it's Coopers fault not yours. You can't blame yourself." Pulling the crying blonde into her arms, she rubbed circles on her back until she had calmed down.

"I have done nothing but hurt Poppy. I should be the one in that bed! Not her she is a good person. If she dies I will never forgive myself."

"Stop talking like that! Poppy is a fighter and she has lots to fight for. Maybe you should go home and rest, you need to heal too." Suggested Casey.

Feeling her anger rise Alex she began to yell. "No Casey I won't go home and rest! I am not leaving my wife and child here to go home and have a little sleep. If you don't like it you can leave."

The raided voices making Ruby startle and begin to cry picking up her daughter and rocking her gently she kept her back to Casey.

"Alex..."

"No Casey! If I hadn't been so dedicated to my job Cooer wouldn't have come after me and Poppy wouldn't have got hurt. She wouldn't even have been in the car if I hadn't fallen for you. None of this would have happened its all your fault." Clamping a hand over her mouth at the look of utter despair on Casey face Alex said "Casey, I'm sorry. I just..."

"Forget it Alex, I'll se you later." Walking away Casey kept her tears at bay until she was in her car. Letting her tears fall she jumped when she heard a knock on the window, looking up she saw Abbie gesturing for her to open the door.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Asked the Texan in a gentle voice.

"Alex thinks it's all her fault Poppy got hurt, or rather she thinks it's my fault. She hates me Abbie." Sobbed Casey.

Pulling the crying woman into an awkward hug over the gear stick "She doesn't hate you Case, she is all messed up and full of guilt and took it out on the nearest person. Don't give up on her, let her cool down for a bit and then go talk to her. Prove to her your not going to walk away when things get hard."

"Thank you. I know your right it just hurt, she was so angry." Sitting together quietly in the car, Abbie suggested they get some dinner before heading back to the hospital.

After feeding Ruby Alex left her in the care of Bella and Jennifer two of Poppy's doctor friends whilst she went at sat with Poppy for a while. As she arrived the doctor was just leaving he informed Alex that Poppy was continuing to improve and he had reversed the medication meaning she should start to wake up over the next few hours.

Taking her customary seat and reaching for Poppy's hand Alex began to talk, "I am so sorry Poppy, this is all my fault, I was so driven I didn't stop to think about how my career would impact on you or Ruby. I'm such a bitch I have done nothing but hurt you, I persuaded you to move to New York and then when we wanted a baby I wouldn't take the time away from work to get pregnant meaning you once again had to put your career on hold for something I wanted. I'm so sorry I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Please wake up the world doesn't make sense without you."

Looking up sharply as the rhythm of the machines changes she saw Poppy's eyes open,"Poppy? Sweetie, don't try to talk. I'll get a doctor."

"Al...not...fault...Ruby?"


	19. Chapter 19

A/N. I'm shocked there was so much dislike for Alex! Anyway let's introduce Ruby to her mummy.

"Al...not...fault...Ruby?" Was all Poppy could manage before slipping back into unconsciousness.

Rushing to the nurses station Alex filled in the nurse who promised to page a doctor, whilst Alex went back and sat with Poppy. Taking her hand she spoke softly to her, "Come on Poppy you need to open those big brown eyes for me. Please, I know a little girl who is desperate to meet her mommy."

Looking up as Jennifer came in Alex smiled "She woke up and spoke to me, well it was disjointed words but it was in response to something's I had said. That's good right? That means she will be okay?"

"That's very good, but then she has always been an overachiever." As she went about checking the machines and Poppy's vitals she spoke to Alex as she worked "Tell me they at least have the bastard responsible to this in custody?"

"They do, I will use every favour, contact and loophole I know to make sure he pays and pays dearly." Said Alex her voice full of sincerity.

"I don't doubt it. Good news is she should come round properly anytime soon and there doesn't appear to be any brain damage, although once she is fully awake we will run more tests. The bad news is it means one more person to hog cuddle time with that cute daughter of yours." Smiling at Alex she made some notes on the chart.

"Jennifer, do you think it will be possible to bring Ruby down to visit once Poppy is awake? She is going to want to see her." Asked Alex.

"Already taken care off. As soon as lazy bones wakes up, we will bring her down for a visit." Smiled the doctor, knowing seeing her daughter would be the best medicine to help her friend heal. She had wanted to hate Alex for all she had put Poppy through over the last few mouths but seeing Alex's concern and the love she still had for Poppy she could understand Poppy's forgiveness. After talking to Abbie and Casey she knew that of any group could make it work it was this group and Ruby would grow up surrounded with love. She had always though Abbie was a better match for Poppy than Alex, not that she disliked the blonde but because Poppy was so serious she needed someone light and fun like Abbie to bring out her fun side.

Once they were alone Alex returned to talking to Poppy "You know Abbie has been here the entire time. She really likes you I don't think I've ever seen her so serious about a woman before and she loves Ruby, she brought her a Longhorns baby grow although I'm convinced it was only to annoy Liv."

"Alex...what happened?" asked Poppy.

"There was an accident we were hit by another car, but your going to be okay. I promise." Deciding to give the watered down version for now.

"Ruby?"

"She is beautiful, once your fully awake they will bring her down to meet you. She looks just like you apart from her blue eyes." Smiled Alex.

Smiling as best she could considering the bruises on her face "You hurt?"

"No, I'm fine." Lied Alex.

"Don't lie to me. Your head."

"Is fine, you of all people should know how hard my head is, a couple of stitches and a conclusion. You took the worst of it."

"When can I see her?" Asked Poppy excited to meet her daughter.

"I'll go talk to Jennifer, I won't be a minute." Walking to the desk she asked the nurse to page Jennifer, walking back into Poppy's room she saw she was asleep again. So decided to call and let people know that she was awake and talking. Walking down the corridor she pulled out her cell phone first calling Liz, then Liv followed by Abbie who said she would be back in ten minutes.

Taking a deep breath she knew she needed to call Casey but she was frightened she had lost her all because she let her mouth run away with her. Dialling Casey number it went through to voicemail. Hanging up she tried three more times, just as she was getting worried she saw Abbie and Casey walking towards her.

Giving Casey a small smile she said, "Hi, she's awake in small bursts. Jennifer is arranging for Ruby to be brought down after her next feed. Speaking of which I'm going to go check on her."

"I'll go sit with Poppy for a bit then." Said Abbie smiling warmly at Casey. Walking into Poppy's room Abbie leaned done and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead avoiding the large bruises that covered most of her face.

"Abb's?" Croaked Poppy.

"Hi beautiful, nice of you to join us in the land if the living." Joked Abbie, squeezing Poppy's hand.

"I thought I'd take a laid back approach to motherhood."

"Really, your joking right now? You scared me half to death woman! If we were having sex you would so be cut off!"

"I'm sorry." Mumbled Poppy "Thank you for being here."

"Always. Alex was going to feed Ruby and then bring her down. She is so cute you and Cabot did good. Why don't you rest until she arrives?" Nodding Poppy was soon asleep.

Back in the corridor Alex was looking at Casey who yet to speak or acknowledge Alex in any way she asked "Do you want to come with me?"

Nodding the two walked in silence until they reached the elevator which was empty, "Case, I..."

"I can't keep doing this Alex, I can't keep being your whipping girl! You need to get your head sorted out." Said Casey attempting to keep the tears out of her voice.

"Casey, please."

"Please what? Huh Alex? Please don't leave, don't make you cry, don't make you doubt yourself or maybe don't break your heart? Because you have done each one of those things to me at least once!"

"Casey, I...was just so afraid and I lashed out but I can't lose you. Please just give me a chance to explain."

"You mean another one? I can't. I'm sorry Alex." As the doors opened Casey got out and started to walk away.

She stopped and looked at Alex once more. "Maybe, you should just focus on Ruby and Poppy for a while and decide what you really want. Good bye Alex."

Rather than going to her daughters room she headed to the restrooms sitting on the closed toilet seat Alex looked at the picture of Casey holding Ruby. Letting the tears fall it didn't take long for the tears to turn to sobs.

"Alex?"

Startled to hear Abbie's voice "Yeah. Won't be a minute." Wiping her eyes she unlocked the door to see Abbie leaning against the sink, holding out a bottle of water.

"You okay? Do you need a doctor?" Asked Abbie.

"No, I'm fine. Casey left." Said Alex in a dead voice.

"She just needs some time to cool down I'm sure you two will work it out." Giving Alex a hug she went on, "You can't keep blaming yourself for this Alex, you can't control who you love and the accident most defiantly wasn't your fault. It certainly wasn't Casey fault."

"I know, I was just so fucking frightened and angry I lashed out and now I've pushed Casey too far and have lost her."

"Give her time and prepare to do lots of grovelling. Now how about we go see that beautiful daughter of yours."

The mention of her daughter brought a smile to Alex's face. Nodding Alex followed Abbie from the bathroom and into Ruby's room. Seeing Bella in the room with Ruby Alex asked, "Is she ready to go meet her mommy?"

"Yep, she excited aren't you Ruby? Yes you are." Handing Ruby to Alex the three woman left and headed down to Poppy's room. Excusing herself Bella left Abbie and Alex to introduce Poppy to her daughter.

Abbie went in first and helped Poppy sit up as best she could considering the wounds on her stomach and back. "Comfy?"

"They gave me the good pain killers. I'm not feeling much." Said Poppy sounding sad.

Seeing Poppy look suddenly sad Abbie realised that with the pain killer she wouldn't be able to nurse Poppy. "Honey, hey look at me?" Waiting until Poppy was looking at her "I'm sorry you can't nurse the way you want to but that won't stop you two bonding and she will still love you."

"Thank you Abb's."

Leaning in Abbie pecked her on the lips "Anytime." Leaning in for another kiss she heard Alex clear her throat.

Walking over to the bed and gently placing Ruby into Poppy's arms A,ex said "Ruby this is your mommy. Mommy this is Ruby."

"Oh my god she's perfect! Look what we did Alex." Looking up she could see the love she felt for her daughter reflected on the faces of the two woman in the room.

"She is perfect just like her mom." Said Alex.

"Both of them." Supplied Abbie giving Alex a smile, before excusing herself saying she was going to call the others and let them know how Poppy was doing.

**Two weeks later,**  
Ruby had been discharged after three days and Alex had taken her home, bringing her in to spend time with Poppy during the day whilst Abbie was at work then trading off and Alex would take Poppy home and Abbie would stay with Poppy until she threw her out to get some rest. Sam Cooper plead guilty and was sentences to twenty five years in prison for causing the accident.

After two weeks Poppy was being discharged and couldn't wait to get home to be with her daughter. Alex was going to stay until she was one hundred percent back on her feet, with some help from her friends.

Arriving to pick Poppy up from hospital whilst Abbie and Liv watched Ruby, Alex was surprised to see Casey sitting talking to Poppy. "Hi."

"Hey, look who came by for a chat." Said Poppy.

"I should make a move I have court this afternoon." Said Casey standing to leave.

"Thanks for coming by. Ruby will love the baby grow although I'm not sure Abbie will approve. Feel free to come by anytime."

"Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I'll see you soon."

"Case, please it's been two weeks. You have to talk to me at some-point. How about we have a coffee one evening?"

"Maybe, I'll call you. Take care Poppy, give Ruby a kiss for me."

Watching Casey walk out of the room Alex felt her heart sink. Plastering on a fake smile she turned to find Poppy studying her intently. "What?"

"What did you do?" Asked Poppy pulling on her jacket so they could leave.

"I hurt her." Said Alex giving a short answer.

"I gathered that, but how?"

"I blamed her for everything and now she hates me."

"Your such an idiot! It amazes me someone so smart can be so stupid! She doesn't hate you. You hurt her, once we get home go and talk to her."

"Poppy, listen..."

"No Alexandra you listen! You need to get your head out your ass and stop playing the victim. You cheated on me not Casey and just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you can keep blaming her. I thought we were past this, I don't hate you and if she makes you happy then I'm happy. For my part I don't know what the future holds for me and Abbie but I know I have feelings for her and that both she and Casey are as smitten with Ruby as we are which means our daughter will be showered with love and affection."

Taking a deep breath she went on, "That idiot who hit us is to blame for all this." Gesturing round the room "It wasn't your fault no matter what you might think and I actually like Casey and it's clear she loves you and Ruby so go fix it! Now take me home I want to see my daughter."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N. I'm really not sure about this chapter hopefully it brings all the angst to an end and our ladies can start to repair things and be happy. Oh and Surfrider it's up so quickly just for you. Thank you for all the reviews As always leave your thoughts.

The drive home from the hospital was almost silent, Alex was gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles were white. Poppy couldn't tell if it was from fear or anger either way she wanted the atmosphere gone before they arrived home to their daughter as much as she loved Alex she knew she didn't take being told off well.

"Are you going to talk to me? Or am I in for the silent treatment?" asked Poppy twisting slightly in her seat so she could study Alex.

"Sorry I was thinking." came the tense reply.

"Any thing I can help with? You know I'm here for you. Always?" said Poppy, placing her hand on Alex's leg not in a romantic gesture but as one friend comforting another.

"Your right I need to talk to Casey. I just hope I'm not too late." giving a small smile she attempted to change the subject. "You looking forward to being home and on nappy duty?"

'Nice try Cabot. Yes I'm looking forward to being home and changing nappies, but you don't get to change the subject that easily. You have never been one of grand displays of emotion but if you want things to work with Casey then you need to let her see the real you that not many people see."

"She has seen the real me! The selfish, spoiled..."

"Stop! God Alex just stop. Pull over, there is a diner just around the corner we need to talk."

Pulling into the diner car park Alex could feel her heart racing, wondering what Poppy wanted to talk about. Turning off the engine she quickly got out and help Poppy out of the car, it was only when they were at the door of the diner that Alex realised where they were it was the diner where her and Casey had lunch and bumped into Poppy the day she began to question her feelings for her wife. Sending Poppy ahead to the table Alex placed their order and collected their drinks before making her way over to the table.

"I ordered you a BLT with light mayo, I hope thats okay?"

"Perfect thank you." Pausing to take a sip of her drink Poppy considered what she wanted to say. "Do you realise this was the place I first realised you had feelings for Casey? I thought at first maybe it was just a crush or cold feet."

Pausing whilst the waitress delivered their sandwiches Poppy took a bite before continuing, "The moment I met you I knew you were someone I wanted in my life. You were so passionate about the cases you tackled and I couldn't help but love you. Once we started dating that love kept growing and when you proposed I thought we would be together forever and once we fell pregnant I thought our lives would be complete."

Seeing Alex begin to chew her lip Poppy gave a gentle smile to let Alex know she wasn't saying this to hurt her, taking another bite of sandwich she continued. "Then Casey came along, the way you looked at me began to change and I knew there was something or someone else. When I found those texts I thought it was just sex, but then I saw how it destroyed you when you thought she wasn't going to be in your life anymore and that's when I knew I had lost you."

Trying to hold back the tears Alex leaned forwards and said "I am so sorry I hurt you."

"Let me finish please Al, I'm not trying to hurt you. Once I realised you were in love with Casey I had two choices, one was to hate you and punish you by keeping Ruby away from you. Or I could except it and learn to love you in a different way. I admit had I not been pregnant then I'm not sure I would have been so understanding." giving a laugh she carried on. "I love you Alex and I always will and I know on some level you feel the same about me."

"Of course I will always love you, we have a daughter together and years of shared memories."

"Of course, but I have seen the way you look at Casey and the way you love her is different to the way you love me and thats okay. For all that is good in this world stop felling guilty I forgive you, this might not be the way I imaged us raising Poppy but we will raise her together surrounded by those we love. Stop waiting for me to take her away that will never happen and stop worrying about everyone else the only people that matter are you, me, Ruby and Casey and between us we can do this and do it with love."

Alex was crying softly amazed by the depth of Poppy's kindness and realisation that she was right, she was waiting for her to get angry and take Ruby away or that her parents would continue to disapprove and never accept Casey. Such was their anger they hadn't been to the hospital or met their granddaughter. "Thank you. You have always known how to smash through my walls. I never meant to fall for Casey or hurt you."

"I know and I forgive you. Now stop wallowing in self pity, finish your sandwich and take me home before Benson convinces our daughter to become a cop or worse Abbie teaches her the F word and we have to kill her and hide the body."

Once they arrived home they were greeted by Liv, Abbie, Serena, Liz, Amanda, Kim, Jennifer and Bella all of which had brought balloons, teddy bears and new outfits for Ruby and even a carrot cake for Poppy.

"Okay so a quick announcement." Said Poppy holding Ruby in her arms. "Because this one had a somewhat dramatic birth her name kind if got pushed aside so we would like to formally introduce you to Ruby Alexandra Cabot-Kane." Seeing Alex wipe a tear and mouth a "Thank-you" Poppy hoped after their talk Alex would finally stop feeling guilty and start trying to fix things with Casey.

After spending three hours visiting with their friends Poppy and Ruby were both asleep, making sure Abbie was staying Alex left deciding it was time to talk to Casey. Pulling out her phone she tried calling the redheads mobile only for her call to go through to voice mail, after three attempts she gave up when she saw Abbie come into the front room holding out two cups of coffee.

"I thought you might want one of these." smiled Abbie sitting opposite Alex. "I'm supposed to be meeting Casey in The Vintage Bar at eight, but I think I might stay in and relax with Poppy. Maybe you could go instead? She can't avoid you if she doesn't know you're going to be there."

"You're a devious devil Carmichael, but thank you. I better go and get ready. Will you be okay with my girls?"

"After almost losing Poppy I'm glad of any chance to spend time with her and Ruby is the cutest thing I have ever seen. We will be fine, I can't think of a better way to spend a Friday night."

Heading to the guest room to get ready Alex was nervous about what to wear, she didn't want Casey to think Alex was trying to seduce her into forgiveness but at the same time she wanted to look her best. Well the best she could on four hours sleep. Arriving at the bar she waited in her car until she saw Casey arrive, she knew it was a cowardly thing to do but she was worried Casey would see her and leave before they could talk.

Casey was sitting at a table int he back as Alex arrived she saw there were two glasses of wine already on the table, before she could speak Casey said "I saw your car. Wine?"

"Thank you, Abbie decided on an evening in, so I thought this would be a good time to talk."  
"So talk." replied Casey taking a sip of her wine.

"I was going to start by saying sorry but I realised you were probably sick of hearing that from me by now. Casey, I love you and I know I have hurt you again. I'm not sure I can even say anything to heal the hurt I have caused but after talking to Poppy today I realised several things, that if you give me a chance to explain will help explain why I've been such a bitch towards you at times."

Pausing she saw Casey nod for her to continue, taking a deep breath she began, "When I first met you and we shook hands it was like getting an electric shock, your touch, your smile and even the way you said my name gave me butterflies. Hell it still does, but I was married with a baby on the way, there was no way I could ever act on those feelings. After all I was a Cabot and Cabot's never act on such trivial things as emotions."

Taking a drink of her wine she continued, "We flirted and I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop thinking about you, what it would be like to kiss you, hold you and make love to you. I tried to convince myself it was just a crush and I felt so guilty I was horrible to Poppy all the time which in turn made the guilt worse. Then I found you crying in your office and I knew I was in love with you, that night we spent together it was torture."

"I wasn't aware I was that bad in bed." snarked Casey, hating that all she wanted to do was reach out and hold the blonde even though she had hurt her.

"Thats fuck! That's not what I meant." seeing Casey give a small smile she relaxed slightly before continuing. "I loved you but I couldn't walk away from my responsibilities and even though I loved you I still loved Poppy I was such a mess that I ended up hurting both of you."

"When I thought you were leaving I was so upset I blurted out that I was in love with you to Poppy, there I was on my knee's throwing up because I was losing the woman I was in love with whilst my pregnant wife rubbed my back and told me she understood and to follow my heart. She promised me that we could make it work and that I wouldn't lose my daughter even if we were apart." Stopping to try and gain her composure Alex realised it was the second time that day she had cried in a public place.

"You didn't believe her?" asked Casey after the blonde had been silent for five minutes and drained her wine.

Playing with her empty glass Alex considered the question. "Part of me did because I know Poppy is as loyal as the day is long but the other part of me thought that I didn't deserve to be in Ruby's life. I kept my distance emotionally from you because I was afraid if I had to choose between you and Ruby I...I thought it would be easier."

"I would never ask you to choose, from the minute you told me you were going to fight for me, I knew a relationship with you would mean a relationship with Ruby and Poppy why do you think I worked so hard to get Poppy to like me?"

"I know. We talked today, well I say talked she told me I was an idiot. She told me she forgives me and that I need to forgive myself and get my head out of my ass and fix things with you because she likes you. She was right, I still felt guilty and I took it out on you and none of this is your fault. I cheated not you, I was the married one I could have walked away and the accident that wasn't my fault."

"So this is me laying my heart on the line, I love you Casey, I love everything about you. I want to be with you, share my life with you the good and the bad. I want to marry you one day and maybe have more children if thats something you want. If you will have me I will spend the rest of my days proving I'm worthy of you and make sure you know just how special you are. If its too late and I have lost you then I just hope one day we can be friends."

"Alex, I love you too and I want all those things, but I cant be with someone who hurts me. If I give you another chance then that's it you hurt me again we're done."

"I understand, I promise you Case I'm all in."

"Good." leaning forward she gently pressed a kiss to the blondes lips. "Me too. Have dinner with me one evening next week?"

"Anytime."

Walking to their cars they shared several more kisses before Alex headed back to Poppy's house, seeing the house in darkness apart from the flickering of the television in Poppy's room she tapped lightly on the door. Poking her head around the door she saw Poppy asleep her head on Abbie's chest.

"How did it go?" Whispered Abbie not wanting to disturb Poppy or Ruby both of whom had only been asleep for half an hour.

"Better than expected, we are having dinner in the week. Providing my girls are okay." replied Alex looking down at her sleeping daughter.

"We will be fine." came Poppy's sleepy voice. "Now go get some sleep, your on nappy duty at 3AM."

Smiling Alex pressed a gentle kiss to Poppy's forehead before heading to bed. Pulling out her phone she saw she had a text from Casey.

'Give Ruby a kiss from me. Goodnight Al. I love you. xx'

Falling asleep Alex had a smile on her face and for the first time since she had met Casey she drifted off to sleep feeling no guilt just an overwhelming sense of peace and hope for the future.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N. There is one more chapter and then an epilogue to go for this story, anyway I hope this chapter shows Alex's softer side.

**Twelve weeks later, **  
It was now three months after the accident and Alex was due to start back to work on Monday, as much as she missed the court room she was dreading being away from Ruby even though she knew she would have to move back to her apartment at some point. She was looking forward spending the weekend with her daughter and girlfriend. Poppy was going out for dinner with Abbie the following evening so her and Casey were going to have an evening in, she loved that Casey enjoyed spending time with Ruby and that she had even come for dinner several times spending the evenings with her, Poppy, Ruby and often Abbie. Their relationship felt so much stronger now Alex had stopped waiting for Poppy to take Ruby away and she had stopped worrying about what other people thought.

She thought about Abbie and Poppy, she knew they had feeling for each other but she also knew Poppy was holding herself back, several times she had wanted to call her on it but wasn't sure if it was her place. Resolving to talk to her before her date tomorrow evening she wanted Poppy to be as happy as she was with Casey and if that was with Abbie then all the better. She deserved to be loved she was an amazing woman.

Thinking about Casey and Abbie and how they were with Ruby she couldn't help but smile into the darkness at how much they loved her and Ruby loved them. Alex was amazed that it truly was a household of love. Sure there had been times when sleep depravation caused minor snappiness but it never lasted.

Hearing her daughter crying Alex reached out for her glasses and shrugged on her robe, hearing somebody moving around downstairs she headed down. Seeing Poppy sitting in the chair looking out over the garden talking softly to Ruby as she fed her, she stopped to listen not wanting to spoil the moment between mother and daughter.

"I hope you realise how much we all love you little one, I know we aren't a traditional family but trust me they can be over rated. I wonder what you will be when you grow up?" Watching her daughter happily feed she gave a small chuckle "No comment huh? Lawyer it is, unless you turn out like me and raise hell, at least if you get into any trouble we're covered, two of your aunties are police woman, then we have four lawyers, five if you include mommy, a judge and several doctors."

Kissing Ruby's forehead she Poppy said "I know your there Alex. Me and Ruby here were just deciding her career path and a contact list for when she gets in trouble."

"I didn't want to interrupt such an intellectual debate." Walking over stroking her hand down Poppy's cheek. "Where's Abb's?"

"She went home about eleven, she said she wanted to come pick me up for our date tomorrow evening." Looking at Alex she added "I'm sorry."

Frowning Alex asked "For what?"

"Having Abbie stay over after I told you Casey couldn't stay. It was hypocritical of me. It's not like we do anything other than sleep, we don't you know..." Blushing she cut off avoiding eye contact with Alex.

"Poppy, it's your house you can have who ever you want to stay." Smiling she added "Besides you and Abbie seem good together, I'm pleased she makes you happy."

"I really like her, I guess I'm a little scared though. I mean we haven't been divorced long and there's Ruby to consider."

"You know how you call me on my bull shit?" Asked Alex, eyebrow raised as she realised why Poppy was holding herself back and avoiding getting intimate with Abbie.

Looking down at the bundle in her arms Poppy scolded "Language. I don't want her learning bad words from you as well as Abbie and Jennifer."

Rolling her eyes Alex sat down opposite Poppy and studied her silently for a few minutes whilst Ruby finished feeding. Taking her daughter to wind her Alex finally spoke. "You know us splitting up had nothing to do with you? That me falling in love with Casey wasn't something I had control over?"

"Maybe, I can't help worry that it was something I did to make you stop loving me." Replied Poppy looking at the floor hating the way her voice shook at the admission.

"Hey look at me." Waiting until Poppy was looking at her Alex went on in a gentle voice "I might not love you the same way I did but I will always love you, especially now we have a daughter. I think you are as beautiful now as the day we met. You are one of the most compassionate, wonderful, smart and funny woman I have had the pleaser to meet let alone know and love. Me falling for Casey was never about anything you did or didn't do it. You of all people deserve to be loved, your such an amazing person."

"Thank you Alex. You don't have to say that."

"I do and I mean it! I hope our daughter grows up to be as compassionate and selfless as you. You work hard for all your patients, you put your life on the line in the army and when working in Africa, you showed such bravery and dedication. You could have dragged out our divorce, took me for every penny and kept my daughter from me. Instead you never left me out, you invited my girlfriend over for dinner so we could spend time together whilst I'm here with Ruby staying in your house so I don't miss the chance to bond with my daughter."

Looking down at her daughter she smiled, "Looks like someone is asleep. I'll put her down. If you want to put some coffee on, not much point going back to bed now."

"Alex, thank you. Things might not have been easy but we will always love each other because of Ruby."

"Always." Laying Ruby down Alex went and showered before going down for breakfast.

"So what has Abbie got planned for your hot date tonight?" Asked Alex when she was sat at the table.

"I'm not sure she wouldn't say, just that I need to dress up. What time is Casey coming over?"

"Mid morning, we thought we might take Ruby to the park for some fresh air. Whilst you take advantage of this." Sliding an envelope over the table she smiled at the confused face Poppy was pulling. Her smile widening when she saw the look of happiness on the other woman's face at the spa voucher.

"Thank you Alex, you know if you want Casey to stay over tonight then that's fine. I might stay at Abbie's if your okay with the little monster?"

Wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manor Alex laughed as Poppy blushed a deep shade of red before flipping her off and heading for a shower. Unable to resist she called out "Language."

Casey arrived just after eleven and the two of them headed to the park with Ruby to feed the ducks and relax in the sunshine. Alex loved spending time with the two of them and watching the way Casey was with her daughter always made her heart swells with love. After walking in comfortable silence for fifteen minutes Alex broached the subject of Casey staying over.

"I'm not sure it would feel strange, it was your marital home." Confessed Casey after a few seconds of silence.

"Poppy made the offer, we don't have to do anything we can just sleep. I miss you holding me at night."

"I miss you too. Okay I'll stay but no funny business." Reaching the duck pond Casey quickly unbuckled Ruby and held her close, chatting away to her as they feed the duck. The sight of her lover holding her daughter made Alex realise just how lucky she was that Casey gave her a second chance.

"You really are amazing." said the blonde pulling Casey in for a quick but passionate kiss.

"Right back at you Cabot. You agree don't you Ruby? Yes you do." Said Casey bouncing the gurgling baby on her knee.

Heading home for lunch they spent the afternoon, relaxing and enjoying each other's company, snuggling against Alex on the sofa after she had put Ruby down for her nap. Pulling Alex in for a kiss, Casey moaned at Alex tangled her fingers in her hair and drew her closer deepening the kiss. Feeling herself pushed back as Alex slipped her shirt off and began kissing her neck and down to the swell of her breasts. Flipping them over so she was above the blonde Casey began trailing kisses along Alex's jaw, running her hands under the blondes t-shirt they failed to notice Poppy who had just come back from the spa.

Grinning to herself Poppy saw the perfect opportunity for revenge on the blonde for making her blush that morning. Clearing her throat loudly she put on a stern face and using her best 'Sargent Major' voice as Alex called it asked "Just what is going on here?"

Jumping apart Casey franticly began searching for her shirt whilst Alex sat wide eyed, both were blushing like two teenagers caught making out by their parents. "We were just...I'm sorry. I'll go." Said Casey looking down at the ground.

"Well Alex? What do you have to say for yourself?" Asked Poppy again using her 'Sargent Major' voice.

"It's my fault! I'm sorry." Began Alex braking off when she saw Poppy's face broke out in a huge grin. "You evil little..." Said Alex throwing a pillow at the laughing doctor.

Looking at the two women sitting side by side on the sofa, both blushing and avoiding eye contact. She was unable to contain her laughter any longer, doubling over at the astonished look on their faces.

"I'm sorry, but your faces were a picture!" Looking at Casey who had yet to speak "Casey, relax! I was joking with you."

"I agree with Alex! You are so mean!" Said Casey mimicking Alex and throwing a cushion at a still laughing Poppy.

Spending a couple of hours laughing over a cup of tea and discussing Alex's return to work. Poppy left to feed and change Ruby who had just woken up. So she could spend some time with her before going out with Abbie.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N sorry for the delay in updating, I hope you enjoy. Just an epilogue to go.

Casey was lounging on the sofa with her feet in Alex's lap when they heard footsteps on the stairs, "How do I look?" asked Poppy sounding nervous.

"You look amazing." assured Alex.

Looking at Poppy Casey could see why Alex hd fallen for her, she wore a knee length red dress that dipped at the front revealing an ample cleavage and highlighted the doctors curves. Her hair rested on her shoulders, framing her face and her make up accentuated her deep brown eyes. "Beautiful!" agreed Casey. "Abbie is a lucky woman. Make sure she know it."

Smiling at the redhead Poppy was once again struck my the strangeness of their situation. She should hate this woman. Yet she really liked Casey, she was warm, friendly, funny and great with Ruby.

Winking at Casey she said "Thank you. I'll make sure she knows. Now I hope you too are going to behave tonight! No heavy petting in front of the child."

Sharing a laugh, Alex rose to answer the knock at the door it whilst Poppy put on her shoes and checked her purse for the thousandth time.

"Abigail, don't you look lovely. Do I need to tell to to behave this evening?" Laughed Alex.

"Funny Alexandra, from what I heard it was you caught making out on the girlfriend on the sofa." replied the Texan following a blushing Alex into the lounge. "Hi Case."

"Abbie you look nice." Seeing the nervous look on Poppy's face she stood and added. "We'll go and check on Ruby give you two some privacy" Grabbing her pouting girlfriends hand "Come on nosey, leave them in peace. Have fun you two."

Once they were alone Poppy studied Abbie, "Wow! Abb's you look amazing." Abbie's black dress was open at the back showing off the brunettes toned body.

"So do you." Kissing Poppy gently on the lips she was delighted when she felt the shorter woman deepen the kiss. "Are you ready?" She asked once the kiss had ended.

"I'm defiantly ready." smiling at her date, Poppy knew she was ready to take things further with Abbie. Her talk with Alex that morning giving her the courage to put her heart on the line and fully commit to a relationship with the feisty Texan, who had shown her nothing but love and kindness.

Hearing Abbie's car leave Alex and Casey headed back downstairs resuming their places on the sofa, after watching Alex chew her lip, Casey began to get worried. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking." replied Alex.

"Want to talk about it?" asked Casey.

"I was just thinking about going back to work and moving back to my apartment. It's going to be hard being away from Ruby."

"There's no rush, unless Poppy has said something?" replied Casey concerned things between Alex and Poppy were strained.

"No she has been amazing, but it can't be easy for you knowing I'm living with my ex-wife. Plus Poppy and Abbie are starting to get serious and they will need their space and me being here makes that difficult."

Hearing the sadness in her lovers voice Casey pulled her close. "Al, I have no problem with you being here. I understand and would never ask you to be away from your daughter, she has to come first always. As for Poppy and Abbie, you need to discuss that with them, but I'm sure there is a way we can work it out."

"You truly are amazing. I hope you know how much I love you?" said Alex before claiming Casey's lips in a searing kiss. Just as she started to deepen the kiss the baby monitor roared to life informing them of Ruby's need to be fed. "Rain check?"

"Always! Come on you change her, I'll warm up a bottle." said Casey standing from the sofa and offering her hand to Alex to help her to her feet.

"How come I have to change her?" Pouted the blonde already on her way to the nursery.

"You were just saying how much you were going to miss her. Plus I'm not sure what you feed her but...it's not fun to clean up." Laughed Casey as she went into the kitchen.

After changing her daughter Alex carried her downstairs, getting settled on the sofa she accepted the bottle Casey held out to her, checking the temperature on her wrist she began to feed her daughter. Smiling at the look of wonder on her girlfriends face, "Do you want to feed her?"

"Are you sure?"

Gently transferring Ruby to Casey's arm's Alex found herself blinking back the tears as she saw the look of love on Casey's face. "Do you want children?"

"I always thought I wouldn't want them, especially after everything we see at work, but I look at Ruby and I think I would like children. How about you do you want more?"

"Defiantly, I hated being an only child. I used to ask santa for a brother or a sister every year." laughing she added "Until I met Serena and she told me all the horrid things her brothers did to her. Then I started asking for a pony."

Laughing as she gently winded Ruby, Casey was overwhelmed with love both for the woman in front of her and the little bundle in her arms.

After spending forty minutes cuddling with Ruby Alex ordered some take-out and the two relaxed on the sofa watching a mindless film, speculating on how Abbie and Poppy's date was going.

**Little Italy, Italian restaurant.**  
Watching as the woman opposite her butchered the Italian language Poppy couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness of the date Abbie had arranged for them. She had chosen Poppy's favourite restaurant, wine and as their's was the only table with an orchid on it she guessed Abbie had arranged that as well. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't hear Abbie speak until she felt a touch on the hand.

"Sorry, I was miles away." she admitted with a smile and a small blush. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay? We can always get this to go if you're missing Ruby?"

"No, she is in good hands. I was actually thinking how sweet you are arranging tonight. I love the orchid, how did you know they were my favourite?"

"I didn't know they were your favourite but I knew you liked them. I wanted something that symbolised love and beauty, but I didn't want roses because they are so cliché so I asked the florist and she recommended an orchid."

Unable to fight the smile on her face, Poppy waited until the waiter had set their starters down before replying. "You really are amazing Miss Carmichael."

"Right back at ya!"

Spending the rest of their date enjoying lighthearted conversation and almost indecent flirting, it was soon time to pay the bill. After handing the valet her ticket Abbie turned to address Poppy, "Shall I take you straight home or would you like to stop for a drink first?"

"Maybe we could go for a coffee. I've heard the coffee at Carmichael's is impressive." giving Abbie a wink she climbed into the passenger seat, she added "The breakfast is said to be rather impressive as well."

"Are you sure?" asked Abbie as she turned in the direction of her apartment.

"Positive. I can't think of anything I want more than to spend the night with you."

"Good, I love sleeping with you in my arms." replied Abbie sincerely.

"Who said anything about sleeping." seeing Abbie about to object she continued. "You have been beyond patient and loving. Giving me a chance to heal physically but more importantly emotionally and for that I can never tell you how grateful I am, but now I want you to make love to me. I love you Abbie."

Pressing down on the accelerator Abbie replied, "Your worth the wait and I love you too."

**House of Poppy and Ruby,**  
After settling Ruby for the night Alex climbed into bed next to Casey who was reading over a case file for the following week. "Did she settle okay?"

"Yeah, she is an angel. That doesn't look like good bedtime reading." she said indicating the file with a tilt of her head.

"It's not, but I have court at nine on Monday morning so I need to read over my notes. Are you looking forward to being back?"

"Yes and No."

Laughing Casey laid the file aside before saying "Well that clears that up, I can see why your such a top notch attorney."

"Smart arse! Yes I'm looking forward to being back, I truly enjoy my job nothing compares to putting a sicko in jail and getting justice for the victim and it helps that my co-council is smoking hot! On the other hand I'm going to miss being here with Ruby."

Frowning when she saw Casey getting out of bed, "Case?"

After a second Casey walked back over to the bed and handed Alex a wrapped box, "I got you this, I hope you like it."

Opening the box Alex saw an electric photo frame, "Oh Case, thank you. I have hundreds of pictures I can put onto it." Pulling her girlfriend in for a kiss Alex couldn't believe how lucky she was.

"Hang on Al, turn it on."

Unpacking the frame Alex plugged it in and felt her eyes start to fill with tears as she watched the pictures flash across the screen, there were some of just Ruby, others with Ruby and Poppy, or with Alex or one of her many aunts. The one on an unimpressed Kim after Ruby and had thrown up on her made Alex laugh out loud. Then came the picture of Alex and Poppy holding Ruby between them followed by one of Casey and Alex with Ruby in Casey's arms. The look of love in Casey's eyes caused Alex to swallow several times before she could speak.

"Case, it's its perfect. Thank you so much. I love it."

"Anything for you darling."

Pushing Casey on to her back Alex straddled her waist leaning down she claimed her lips in a bruising kiss. Before trailing kisses along her jaw and down her throat, sliding her hand under Casey sleep shirt her fingers brushed against a hard nipple. Groaning she slid the shirt the rest of the way off and replaced her fingers with her mouth, nipping the stiff bud with her teeth before soothing it with her tongue.

"Al, oh dear god...Alex..."

"Problem Moss Novak?" Asked Alex with a wicked grin.

"No funny business remember?"

"I won't tell of you don't." Replied Alex bringing her mouth back down Casey's straining nipples, smiling as she felt Casey buck against her. "Shall I stop?"

"Oh dear god no! If you do I think I might die." Panted Casey as she flipped them over claiming Alex in a lust filled kiss. Pulling Alex's shirt over her head as they both shrugged out of their bottoms and gave matching moans at the skin to skin contact.

Kissing down across Alex chest and toned stomach Casey could smell her lovers excitement, nipping her way down one pale thigh, she kissed back up the other before running her tongue thorough her lovers wet folds moaning at the taste.

Feeling Casey's mouth on her Alex had to bite her lip to keep from making too much noise aware of her daughter in the next room. Hissing as Casey entered her with two fingers and continued to tease her clit with her tongue all rational thought left her mind.

"Oh god Casey! Yes! So good!" Screamed Alex as an orgasm rocked through her body.

Kissing her way back to Alex's lips Casey propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at her still panting girlfriend and was once agin struck by how lucky she was.

"What are you looking so smug about Miss Novak?"

"I was just thinking how lucky I am, you are so beautiful Alexandra."

"I'm the lucky one." Said Alex attempting to stifle a yawn. "Your turn."

"Maybe later. Sleep now darling."

Pulling the covers over them Casey pulled Alex close and the two were soon asleep, holding each other tight the way it was meant to be.


	23. Epilogue

A/N. Thank you all for reading this and sticking with it, here is the epilogue I hope it does the story justice. This was how I always pictured the ending, thank you for caring for the characters including Poppy as much as I did.

**Five years later.**

Waking up Alex could hear her wife of three years in conversation with their two year old son, "Good morning Alexander Oliver Cabot. It's your sisters birthday today, that means you have to be extra nice, no stealing her glasses or pulling her hair you little monster. You love Ruby don't you? Yes you do."

"Ruby!"

"That's right! Clever boy." Cooed Casey."Now shall we put on your Mets jersey or your Giants one. Which will annoy auntie Abbie more?"

Smiling Alex got out of bed and padded down the hall, leaning against the door frame her wife's back was towards her as she continued her conversation with their son, "Once you are dressed we can go jump on mommy and then Ruby, Ava, auntie Abbie and auntie Poppy will be here for breakfast. You think we can persuade mummy to make pancakes?"

"Cakes...ma." Said Alexander pointing towards Alex who had just come into his eye line.

"I think that can be arranged. Providing I get a kiss from my wife and son." Said Alex walking into the nursery scooping Alexander off the changing table and giving him a sloppy kiss on the check before pecking Casey on the lips.

"Good morning beautiful, how are you feeling this morning? Any sickness?" Casey was three months pregnant and had spent much of the first three months suffering extreme morning, noon and night sickness.

"I feel good, no sickness. Touch wood." Replied Casey touching the door frame for luck.

Hearing a knock at the door Casey pecked Alex on the lips and headed down to let in Poppy, Abbie, Ruby and their six month old daughter Ava, who was snuggled in a sling under Abbie's coat.

"Good morning, come on in me and Xander were debating Mets or Giants shirt, any opinion Abb's?" Laughing at the glare she received from Abbie.

"Mama Casey it's my birthday, I'm five!" Said Ruby holding up five finger.

"Wow! your getting old." Teased Casey giving her step daughter a hug and a kiss, before hugging the other two women and stealing a sleepy Ava for a cuddle.

Coming down the stairs after her shower Alex smiled at Casey cuddling Ava and Poppy sitting on the floor playing trains with Alexander. Whilst Abbie and Ruby played on her DS, it took her breath away to see the love in the room. "Good morning. I hear it's a special day?"

"Mommy!" Yelled Ruby running over and wrapping her arms around Alex's waist.

Lifting her daughter up for a cuddle, "Good morning baby girl, how are you today?"

"I'm five! Mama Casey said I'm getting old, she's silly."

Kissing her daughter on the forehead she replied "Five! WOW that it is old! You will be catching up with Mama Abbie soon."

"Watch it Cabot." Smiled Abbie, "I didn't come to be abused by you and your wife. I was promised breakfast."

"Who wants pancakes?" Asked Alex. Hearing yeses from all except Ava she headed into the kitchen.

Sensing a presence behind her she saw Poppy leaning against the counter. "You okay? How's Casey's morning sickness?" Asked Poppy giving Alex that look that always made her feel like Poppy could see her soul.

"It seems to have stopped I hope. I'm fine, I just can't believe it's been five years! Where has the time gone?"

"I know she is getting so big and her personality is coming out more everyday."

"And more like you every day." Smiled Alex.

"Apart from the eyes, the ability to rock glasses and her stubbornness that's all you! She is perfect I'm not sure how we got so lucky."

"She has a big heart like her mommy." Said Alex pulling her ex-wife in for a hug. There was no awkwardness between the two, they had devolved a strong friendship that had allowed them to raise Ruby surrounded with love.

After Ruby was born Poppy decided not to go back to work at the hospital, wanting to work less hours so she could devote more time to Poppy and Abbie and now Ava. Instead she and her friend Jennifer opened a paediatric practice that was booming owning to their reputations and skills as doctors. To keep her surgery hours up Poppy donated her time working for a charity that helped under privileged children and those from war torn countries to get the surgery they needed.

"Do you think she will like the kitten?" Asked Alex referring to ginger kitten they had got her for her birthday that was currently at Liz's house until it was time for the party.

"She is going to love it." Replied Poppy. Studying Alex who looked more relaxed than she had done recently, she knew Alex's promotion to Bureau Chief had caused a few teething problems whilst she settled in and got a handle on what was involved. Add to that Casey's unrelenting morning sickness and a child in the terrible two's as well as an active four year old and Alex had seemed out of sorts for a while but seemed to be back on track now.

Seeing Poppy still studying her Alex smiled and pointed to the cupboard, "Make yourself useful woman and make the coffee rather than studying me." Smiling as Poppy stuck her tongue out her, before turning to make the drinks.

Looking at Casey and Abbie getting the children settled at the table whist she and Alex made coffee and pancakes. Poppy smiled at her 'family' she and Abbie had been married for just over eighteen months, after the injuries she sustained in the accident she wasn't able to have anymore children so Abbie had agreed to carry their child, giving birth to Ava six months ago.

They had spent all major holidays together, Thanks Giving at Poppy and Abbie's, Christmas at Casey and Alex's house. Birthdays were spent together and they had taken trips to the beach and even holidayed in England together making sure Ruby spent time with both her mothers and step mothers and the siblings that had come along.

After an enjoyable breakfast the 'family' headed to Liz's house for Ruby's party, arriving they saw all their friends and family gathered around the room. Watching her friends Alex couldn't believe how much their lives had all changed, they had all gone from career driven women to women with families and careers even if they had changed their paths.

Looking over at Liv who was patiently explaining to Ruby how her new camera they had brought her for her birthday worked, Alex couldn't help help but feel happy for her friend who finally had a family. Amanda and Liv had married two years ago and were the proud parents of identical twin boys, Henry and Sam both of who had Amanda's colouring and personality. Liv had been promoted to Sargent of the squad giving her more flexible hours and Amanda had retrained as a councillor her experience in SVU and with gambling quickly making her one of the most successful and sought after in New York.

Looking across as Abbie who was holding Ava and Kim who had her hand resting lightly in the small of Serena's back she was happy that had Kim and Serena's relationship had blossomed despite, how strange it seemed the cold and distant Kim Greyleck and the bubbly and warm Serena Southerlyn they were a perfect match. Serena had given birth to their daughter Molly six weeks ago and they were planning a small wedding later in the year. Serena had left the DA's office and joined Casey in private practice working as advocates for those who couldn't afford lawyers but needed help and Kim had stepped in as Abbie's second chair in homicide.

Looking across at Liz who was reading a book to Xander. Who along with Ruby called her grandma, she could see the smile on Liz's face as she pressed a kiss to the top of his blonde head. Alex considered herself lucky that Liz had stood by her and supported her loving both her children and Ava as if they were her own grandchildren.

She saw Abbie's parents in conversation with Casey's probably planning another sailing trip, after meeting the four became firm friends and accepted the unconventional family dynamic loving each of the children equally.

After her divorce Alex's mother had refused to accept Ruby as her daughter, even though Alex had formally adopted her. After her marriage to Casey and the birth of Alexander her mother wanted to know her grandson but Alex had refused unless she acknowledged Ruby as well. When her mother refused Alex cut off contact with her.

Feeling someone slip an arm around her waist she smiled recognising Casey's touch leaning back she could feel the start of Casey's baby bump.

"You look thoughtful, everything okay?"

"I was just thinking how lucky I am.I could have lost everything instead things are perfect. I have two wonderful children and another on the way. A beautiful wife who I love more each day, wonderful friends and family. My daughter rather than suffer from a split family is surrounded by more love and warmth than I ever imagined was possible."

The End.


End file.
